Life Of A K
by Dry Black
Summary: A long one-shot about the K. I really can't describe it. Enjoy the movie, and experience the pain of the letter "K"...


Life of a K, what can you say. If you're a Kazama, you know drama. And that's all a Kazama's life is, dramatized bull. And thanks to an M impregnating queen K, the drama's permanent. Mishima's mixing their Devil Gene makes a K's life even more worthwhile. It was hell raising Jin, but Jun and Kazuya managed for twenty years. Then during those twenty years, Asuka was dropped off in front of their door with a message from her father telling them to rise her as their own, because of his death, which add even more hell and high water. Two kids being raised by drama here and there, and it rarely goes to sleep. And despite all of that, the letter K, burns on...

Jin: (packing his clothes in a rush) I gotta get the hell outta here. There's no peace.

Asuka: (doing the same) Man this guy is sick. Always lookin' at women. He got our mom as his wife!

Kazuya cries out "no stop" as he's getting punish by a skillet.

Jun's voice: STAY, AWAY, FROM, THAT, WHORE!

Kazuya's voice: NOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO STOOOOOOOP! NO STOOOOOOP!

Jin: Cuz we gotta get our stank trash Oscar Grouch asses outta here!

Asuka: I hear ya Jin. A mouthful, but I hear ya.

They packed a lot of stuff for their new place, and are on a rushed clock to get to it; and in such rush, they tried to carry it all in one trip but, that was a fiasco.

Jin: (covered in a bush of luggage) Fuck! CUZ, CUZ GET ME OUTTA HERE!

Asuka: (tripped from a tip of a wheeled backpack; nose takes it for the team) Uhhh! Fuck, my nose!

Jun's voice: Tell that whore you're busy!

Kazuya's voice: Girl that's my secretary! She want me to work so I'm goin' bra!

Jun's voice: "Bra?!" Baby I gotcha bra! (goes to work on him yet again)

Jin: (had enough of his dad crying long dramatic no's) END THIS SHIT! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUP!

Asuka: (pushing some bags off) Jin they can't, hear ya.

Jin: Get me outta here cuz!

Asuka: I'm already workin' on it.

Meanwhile outside this insanely house.

Mokujin: Heh, heh, heh.

Tetsujin: Life of rich characters. We gonna rob 'em bitches blind.

Mokujin: Git all they money!

Tetsujin: Ya know bra!

They clash fists, giving each other high-fives.

Kinjin: (in an inveigh tone) Cut, the shit! Can't just rob these ho's without a got-damn master.

Mojujin: C'mon king I'm yo legs bra. They won't even see me yo.

Tetsujin: And I'm an iron, "chest." I'll pound those bitches to dust!

Mokujin &amp; Tetsujin: We unstoppable!

The gold king pounds both of their noses in.

Kinjin: FOOLS! Just because you got speed and power don't mean yur git caught! I'm the brains, the mastermind, chrimnal version! We need to plan this shit out!

Mokujin: Yo the chief said chrimnal.

They both start laughing, just for another clash to their noses.

Kinjin: You both are stupid! (sees Jin and Asuka leaving with their parents behind them) Get the fuck back!

They hide behind some trees.

Jun: Bye Jin sweetie. Make good decisions.

Kazuya: Yea son, make ya dad proud. You too daughter!

Jin: I wish you both luck.

Asuka: We're be fine.

Nina walks by and on a sly, teases Kazuya.

Kazuya: Yea boy work that honey! (barks like a dog)

Jun: I know this bitch just (hammers her man in the roosters and goes after Nina) IN FRONT OF MY FACE! BITCH REALLY?!

Nina: HE WANTS ME!

Jun: THE HELL HE DO! BITCH YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!

Kazuya: MY SECRETARY!

Jin: (shaking his head) Let's get the fuck on. (walks away)

Asuka: *sigh* Our parents are awesome. (follows her cousin)

Tetsujin: Let's git it on too! (goes for the house)

Kinjin: (slams his minion) NO DUMBASS! You see this?! (presents him the noisy crowd) That's a lot of folks and they jack our asses if we go now!

Mokujin: Yea let the crowd die down, then rob the bitches.

Kinjin: Then we gonna do the Mishimas!

Tetsujin: Yo you talkin' about death! I ain't robbin' no death bra!

Kinjin: FOOL! The Kazamas are a part of the Mishimas. If we can fucked these asses we got now, then that old gassing whore won't be no threat to our oak society.

Tetsujin: Well if I see the bitch, I'll give him a piece of these! (vibrates his fist in the air)

Mokujin: Talking about sugar daddy. His soldiers don't march and he still injects his dry seeds into ho's.

Kinjin: Are we really talking about this nasty shit?!

Mokujin: Man I don't know about chall but, I want me some Jun.

Tetsujin: Nah bra that milf's mine. You do young bones.

Mojujin: I don't jack kid's virginity bra!

Kinjin beats them both with bamboo sticks, demanding them to shut up and let him think.

Kazuya: (rolling around holding his money claimer) Ohhh fuck that bitch never stops. Let me be a man bitch. (sees some luggage) Yo SON! ASUKA! Y'all left some baggage and stuff y'all need ta get it!

Jin's Voice: We'll come back!

Kazuya: I'll give y'all a week before I throw this shit out!

Asuka's voice: Do whatchu want!

Xiaoyu: (within the crowd looking at Jin) Where ever my man goes, I go. (she stalks them)

It's been weeks since they left their home to break free from ghetto drama. Still traveling in a forest for a place to live...

Asuka: You sure you know where we goin'?

Jin: I know this place. It's a long walk but it's our private dream house. Paid it off under our parent's noses.

Asuka: Like a boss!

Jin: Ya damn skippy cuz!

Xiaoyu: My man knows his shit! (she instantly hides)

Asuka: (scanning behind her) What was that?

Jin: (knowing who that was) Great. Let's keep going.

Asuka: That sound like a woman.

Jin: Cuz, fuck the voice. Let's keep on now.

Unknown: (in a shadow) Yes. Yes my son, keep on trudging into the depths of this lovely forest.

Devil Jin: (with his mother) When we gonna wake this shadow?

Unknown: Soon pumpkin. Soon.

Devil Jin: I wanna kick his ass!

Unknown: You will sweetie just be patient! Let them settle in this place for a while and soon, he will be yours to claim, and the shadow will wake. "The star must clash into itself to summon the dark demon."

Devil Jin: I'm gonna miss this world mom.

Unknown: Stop being your perverted father. Women are everywhere, and the next universe have plenty of eye candy, just for you.

Devil Jin: But it's nothing like home though.

Meanwhile with the three dummies...

Kinjin: The crowd is a little reduced. Let's go while Jun's still running riot.

Mokujin: (already on the swift move) IT'S ABOUT TIME BRA!

Tetsujin: (rushing by his brother's side) LETS GOOOOOOOOO! CA!

Kazuya: (still holding his pride, sees them) Hey what the fuck?! Yo, shit! It's them dumb ass oak criminals! Dumber ass gang name too! Put some beef in that shit like "Stank Homo Sapiens," Or, "Gay Alligators." and how about...

Kinjin: (boot his mouth in) Shut the fuck up or perish!

They are wrecking the place up for that "green."

Mokujin: (in the kitchen hurling pots and pans all over the place) Where's the got-damn money?!

Tetsujin: (destroying the bathrooms) Yo, they got some agent shit in here cuz, I don't see it.

Kinjin: (sits in the living room watching some television) Dumbasses! Check the bedrooms!

Mokujin: YEAAAAH! (hauls ass upstairs)

Tetsujin: Money's always in the bitch where ya sleep! You are the brains bra! (heads for the rooms)

Kinjin: Epic fail. Ju-just, epic! These dumb ass lackeys can't do-(sees Jun and heads for the backdoor) SHIT!

Jun: (walking by Kazuya with a hulk of Nina's hair in hand, then throws it at him before entrance) Your "secretary," won't be seeing much of you "honey!"

Kazuya: MY BAAAAAALS! We got those trash robbers too!

Jun: PISS OFF! (hears noise upstairs) Great, we got the three barbarianteers.

Tetsujin: (after ripping the sheets and pillows up) Still no money.

Mokujin: (after breaking every mirror in every bedroom) Maybe we need to find a vault, or we need some new wood.

Jun: How you training dummies doing.

Mokujin: (shaking) Ohhhhh, shit.

Tetsujin: (clashing his fist together) COME, GET, SOME!

Jun: "Go ahead, make my day."

Mokujin: You a fuckin' fool bra! This is Jun here!

Jun: Y'all king left ya to die again huh? Oh, did he go out the backdoor again?

Heihachi's voice: Up to ya old tricks again huh Grinch face?!

Kinjin's voice: FUCK MOOOO! TEEEEEEEEEES!

Heihachi's voice: Arrest him!

Jun: I'll take that as a yes. You oak fucks have nothing better to do?

Tetsujin: Yeah, and dat's da git som' booty! Girl let's (goes all out on a door) C'mon girl! Be this do'!

Mokujin: (gets on his knees) Nooooo pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase! No please! (she nabs them both by their noses) NOOOOOOOOOO! OWWWWWWWWW! MY COW DETECTOR!  
Tetsujin: AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Jun: How about yet another timber! (clashes their heads together and goes to work)

Kazuya: (Finally have healed pride; hearing them being punished) HA HAAAAAAAH! YES SAR GET ON THEM FUCKS BRA! (hooks Kinjin in the eye when he ran by) Got you bitch master gay! Flavor Flav lookin' ass motherfucker! Gay ass motherfucker! Faggot ass bitch! Local ass prostitute!

Kinjin: (Tekken Force taking him to the jeep all chained up) Nooooo! Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaaasse! This isn't over rich fucks! We will get ya cash!

Then the two hapless culprits flies through the window and joins their king in uncomfortable positions.

Heihachi &amp; Kazuya: GET THESE NUTS!

Mokujin: (legs hanging out) Owwwwwwwww.

Tetsujin: (face stuffed in a seat) Girl still got it.

Heihachi: That's my son's bitch right there!

Kazuya: Yea don't fuck with her! What's goin' on dad?

Heihachi: You bust his ass son!

Kazuya: Like a boss.

Heihachi: How you and Nina working out? If ya know what I mean.

Kazuya: Man Jun not havin' it. (shows him the hair) She just ripped this bitch head off.

Heihachi: Good grace! It's been twenty one years and she's still burning your ass!

Kazuya: Like a damn boss.

Heihachi: Like she needs to understand that you're a man with needs. Plus she needs to know her place.

Jun: (hears him) My place?!

Kazuya: Girl please no. You had a rough day go on to sleep.

Jun: When I feel like it dick!

Heihachi: You just gonna let this broad take your pants like that?!

Jun: I should kick your ass too pops! He's a poor callow man learning from the best!

Heihachi: Bitch I am the best! I'm a fucking beast!

Kazuya: (holding them back) Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. We all need a drink!

Heihachi: I raised him to run shit! Live his life to the fullest!

Jun: And that's to be a whore and expect me to put up with it?! I am indeed a fool, to be married to a Magic Mishima!

Heihachi: I KNOW YOU JUST DIDN'T DISRESPECT MY NAME! Magic Johnson knows how to play Basketball! Lebron James came from him! And Jordan bitch!

She laughs hysterically.

Heihachi: (trying his best to get to her) Then she laughing! Son move the fuck out the way! Shit just hit the fan!  
Kazuya: (thwarting him) C'mon dad chill out. Chill'lon down! Bitch crazy.

Jun: Am I?! Maybe I am, crazy enough to continue to put with with this bullshit! (takes the ring off and hurls it at him) We're THROUGH! (storms in)

Kazuya: (hits his knees) FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!  
Heihachi: (follows Jun in) Then pack your shit and go! This is his house that IIIIIIIII! Paid for!

Jun: (shoving her stuff in a case) Fuck you! Fuck your son! And fuck this house! You both can die in this shithole!

Heihachi: Trick! You the shithole! ROT IN IT!

Jun: It's your bed, lay in it! (leaves for a new life) Fix your son!

Heihachi: (follows her out) Fix your face!

Jun: Fix your side burns!

Kazuya: NOOOOOO PLEASE COME BACK!

Jun: Piss off!

Kazuya: I'LL BE A BETTER MAN!

Jun: Over my dead body!

Heihachi: My son know real talk! REAL, TALK! So get the fuck back in here!

Jun: I'm THROUGH! Can't you both not comprehend that?!

Heihachi: The only way you're out of this if if he sign the divorce papers! And where them hoes at?! NOWHERE! So GET that ass back in this house!

Jun: (stops to glare) You think you have authority over me?! You'll be submissive before I can be! I'll be back with the fucking papers, (resumes her independent travel) and he will sign it!

Kazuya: (whining) WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Jun: Cry baby SHUT UP!

Heihachi: Get back here and APOLOGIZE TO MY SON!

Jun: Kiss my ass!

Heihachi: Bitch don't blow, lick!

On to the cousins. They finally reach this exquisite baroque mansion that resembles a castle with a fine beach behind it.

Asuka: (awed and agape) J-J-Jin, y-y-you, b-brought, t-t-this?

Jin: Sho' did cuz. Dream house for the both of us.

Xiaoyu faints.

Asuka: T-this is unimaginable.

Jin: It's real and before us. C'mon let's go in.

She faints.

Jin: Too awesome huh?

She wakes up in this red cherry wooded room. Everything including the bed, is covered in dark scarlet.

Asuka: (so amazed tears rains from her eyes) O, m, g. This is heaven! No more drama!

Jin: I knew you'll like it.

Asuka: Like it?! I love it! And you paid this off?!

Jin: Mortgage and all yes.

Asuka: Good, God cuz! He's been "good" to you.

Jin: C'mon you have yet to discover.

Asuka: Damn man can we take a break?

Jin: Well you go on ahead...  
Asuka: You too! That was a long ass walk. Your legs will break out. (pats the bed) C'mon I won't bite.

Xiaoyu: (climbed in through an opened window and sees nothing but gold) OHHHHHH JIN YOU'RE SO MINE! Look at all of this gold. Got statues, ancient cases, (observes this golden snake rod with a ruby attached to its head with her hands) even got a damn stick up this joint! I'll Kung-Fu yo ass with this son of a bitch. (gets to swinging and playing)

Jin: (in bed with his cousin wrapped on him) Girl you know how long we been sleeping like this?

Asuka: (hearing his heart beat) Since day one. What, want your own bed now?

Jin: It's cool. I guess things will never change.

Asuka: You're a fine pillow Jin. Stores don't sell you, you know.

Jin: You're unique.

Asuka: You too cuz.

This clanging came out of nowhere with an accompanying word, "shit."

Asuka: We just moved in and something's goin' down!

Jin: It's nothing.

Asuka: Fuck I'm too damn tired to even.

Jin: It's not even worth our time.

Asuka: Well it's worth mine's!

Jin: Get some sleep cuz!

Xiaoyu's voice: JIN!? (voice getting closer to them) JIN! JIIIIIIN I'M COMING!

Asuka: Jin?! No we have some talkin' to do father's shadow.

Jin: Asuka please okay?

Xiaoyu: (busts in and jumps on him) MY MAAAAN!

Jin: _Oh shit. Here we go._

Asuka: (moves out of her way) BITCH WHO YOU?!

Xiaoyu: I'm Jin's man. And you are?

Asuka: His cousin, trick.

Jin: Awwww, crap.

Xiaoyu: Well "cuz," leave. (feels his chest) Me and my man got some catching up to do.

Asuka: "Leave?!" Oh-ho trick you don't know me.

Xiaoyu: LEAVE! BE GONE!

Asuka: BITCH! (slaps the taste out her mouth)

That smack starts a brawl with the benefit of cursing insults.

Jin: (stuck in the bottom of it all) GIRLS! PLEASE C'MON!

Asuka: Get off "FUCK" my cousin! (shoves her to the ground)

Xiaoyu: (nabs her head and hurls her off the bed) Fuming asshole!

Asuka's takes Jin with him.

Jin: AHHHHH! CHILLLLLL DAMN!

Xiaoyu: (slamming Her opponent's head constantly on the cherry floor) You will move back into your mother's house and won't be a burden to me and my man!

Jin: (slams Xiaoyu on the bed) WOMAN THAT'S MY CUZ! (wraps Asuka up when she attempted to lunge for her enemy) And that's my girl!  
Asuka: GET OFF ME JIN! GET OFF–(stops when she heard those troubled words) Your what?

Jin: You heard me girl. She's my girlfriend.

Asuka: You a lie she ain't shit!

Jin: I'M SERIOUS!

Silence takes the podium and delivers a fine speech...Then Xiaoyu shuts it up.

Xiaoyu: Tell her Jin! Tell her to get out!

Asuka: (wildly wrestles for freedom) I know this bitch!  
Jin: (bear hugs her) SILENCE! ALL OF YOU!  
Asuka: (yells in agony) SHI-AT! Damn cuz, why?!

Jin: Let me tell you ladies something! You all, will get along (gets in Asuka's face) together!

Asuka: (flinching back) Damn bro clean your mouth. Take a mouthwash and stop eatin' yo own shit. That's what the toilet's fo' yo.

Jin shoves her out the room and slams the door.

Asuka's voice: You gonna take this whore's side?! Bra James! Bra James really?! (re-enters the room) Bra James we got a problem?

Jin: Call me Bra James one more time.

Xiaoyu: No Jin. Let me handle her.

Asuka: Bring yo ass on lil' yeast!

Jin: (purposely hurts himself) CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW!

Asuka: (just stares at him) What the fuck?  
Xiaoyu: (instantly plays nurse) JIIIIIN! You hurt my man bitch.

Asuka: You can't even break a twig. I didn't do shit.

Eliza: (yawns in) I'm trying to rest my ner...(now noticing there's unwelcome guest before her) GET OUT! BEGONE! LEAVE THIS FORBIDDEN PALACE!

Asuka: Pale bitch calm yo ass on a hot seat, grow a tan! You're already Snow White, git som' color damn! Yur as pale as that woman from "Cold Case."

Xiaoyu: You ain't taking my man's blood!

Jin: You're in our house! You get the fuck out!

Eliza: You pitiful rats!

Asuka: Yo daddy.

Eliza: Check your mom out some time here?

Asuka: You think you can handle me?! Gonna have a hard time seein' you outside. It's "bright, out."

Jin: Asuka chill those roasts now!

Xiaoyu: Man both of y'all get the hell out! Me and my man need to know how to flex, so GO!

Eliza: This is, MY HOUSE! MY MONEY WENT UP THIS JHIT!

Asuka: Ya legit piece of shit!

Eliza hisses at her.

Asuka: (sarcastically) Uh scary.

Xiaoyu: I'll fight a vampire, (at Asuka) and a tomboy.

Asuka: Trick I gotcha tomboy.

Jin: SHUT THE FUCK! E'RYBODY SHUT THE FUCK, UP! ERRR, BODY!

Eliza: It appears you all can't handle the "WhiteNoise." If you crave for this beast's existence, then piss me off even more!

Asuka: You white bitch! Lookin' like a dry Yeti.

Xiaoyu: And you look like a pregnant seal!

Asuka: Little girl, it's not my fault that yo little soldiers died during the march.

Xiaoyu: (whines in Asuka's face, speaking so fast you won't know exactly what she's saying) I DON'T HAVE A DICK UNLIKE YOU!

Eliza: Absolutely amusing.

Jin: (gives the vampire this blank stare) You know what she just said?

Eliza: How should I know? She's your baby.

Asuka: _What the hell did she just say? Nah fuck that her breath stinks. And she blew it all in my FACE!_(slaps some spit out of the red head's mouth) Dare yell in my face?! You really want the hurt?!

Xiaoyu screams at the top of her lungs and they rumble it out.

Jin: Ladies chill the fuck down!

Eliza: (preps her teeth for blood) That just leaves me and you.

Jin dances all on a side of the bed.

Eliza: (with a lost glare) Male, stay away from nature's grass.

Jin: C'MON! They won't know bra let's GO! (humps a pillow and throws it at her)

Eliza: FREAK! (eschews the pillow) You nasty dog! (eschews another and retreats in darkness) This ain't over happy! Soon she will be a widow!

Jin: Your mother's tits! But wait, they are!

Asuka: (brutally slamming Xiaoyu's head to the wall) Get, yo, bitch, ass, OUT! GO, TO (puts all the force for the grand finale) SLEEP! (snatches half of her belt away from the quiet body) You broke my expensive belt! (shoves it in her mouth)

Poor Xiaoyu. Now she's temporary in Heaven.

Jin: (not believing she did that) Yo. Yo cuz! Cuz the fuck?! She's little damn! Then ya gonna sh-(too disgusted to go on)

Asuka: She asked for it. Broke my belt and beat me with it. (attempts to attack) Why I should...(hits her head on the bed's rail after being yanked) Oww! Damn cuz!  
Jin: (yanks her away by her collar) YOU DID ENOUGH! Man I was hopin' I would get away from this shit by movin' away from our parents, but now I'm in the war-zone! FUCKIN' AWEOME!

Asuka: (rubbing her aching head) Damn man that really hurt cuz. You talkin' about me gettin' brutal and yet, yur doin' it.

Jin: You got a little man in you! So shut the hell up!

Asuka: (feelings now curved) What's that suppose to mean?!

Jin: You don't know?! All that fightin' you did, runnin' a damn marathon. You was a little thang just goin' to work!

Asuka: THAT WAS THE PAST! I HAD NO CHOICE!

Jin: But did you have, to make fights though?! Unnecessary actions! Fightin' is a guy thing! You made a faggot out of Mike Tyson!

Asuka: (wailing) Jin you're hurtin' me! What the fuck did I do to you huh?!

Jin: YOU DID THIS! (presents his sleeping girlfriend) YOU NEARLY KILLED HER!

Asuka: SHE SLAMMED MY HEAD ON THE FLOOR AND YOU DID, "NOTHING!"

Jin: I THREW HER ASS ON THIS BED! Brainless, FUCK!  
Asuka: FUCK THAT! YOU GOIN' OFF ON ME! What? She's too much of yo princess for a scoldin'?!

Jin: (takes the broken belt out of his girl's mouth and carries her away) That's none of your concern.

Asuka merely wets her eyes out.

Asuka: I HOPE YUR PROUD! Harmin' yur closest cousin like that! NOT COOL!  
Jin's voice: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET SOME SLEEP!

Unknown and her dark son was outside and observed it all.

Devil Jin: Yep, A Kazama will never know the word escape.

Unknown: They will soon son, to Hell.

Devil Jin: When I gonna fight him?!

Unknown: Soon, my son. As soon as he comes out and play.

Eliza: (walking by with a wine bottle in hand) Oh y'all moving in too?! Shit bring all the got-damn Governments! (abuses the liquor and burbs upon finishing) All these fucking roaches. Y'all just need to–(unexpectedly falls asleep)

Unknown: Poor vampire. Life without blood must be hard.

Devil Jin: That's what she gets. Sleeping for ten-thousand years.

Unknown: She brought narcolepsy upon herself. A pity, she would've been of some service. I'll go see how my "wonderful" self's doing. You're welcomed to join along.

Devil Jin: Man her and that Mishima never gets old.

Kazuya decayed into the great depression. He never left his house since that event, and getting himself high to relieve the stress. He stayed in the corner all day and night just goggling and acting insane.

Kazuya: S-she left me here to die. She took my Spyro games. I l-l-like my Spyro! I LIKE MY SPYRO! MY SPYYYYYYYYRO!

Heihachi's voice: {at the door} Yo son, you been locked up her for three days. A little somebody wants to give ya pleasure.

Kazuya: LEAVE ME PIRATES LEAVE! GAY ACTIVITIES GOBBLE-GOBBLE!

Nina's voice: I know it's hard but I'm here for you now, let me blowjob.

Kazuya: MY SPYYYYYYYYYYY! (burns himself trying to smoke) AHHHHHHHHH SHIT! SPYRO WHHHHHHY! PLEASE NO!

Heihachi's voice: He'll come back eventually.

Nina's voice: C'mon Kaz. Let me be your new and sexier woman.

Kazuya: IIIIIIIIIIIII, WANT MY SPYRO!

Nina's voice: Whoever that is will come as soon as you let me in baby.

Kazuya: TURN MY SHIT!

Jun's Voice: Jacked up offer move your ass!(she comes in to drop off the three classic Spyro games she accidentally packed, plus the papers and a pen ready) There's your Spyro and the divorce papers.

Kazuya: (shakes entirely) YOU DEMON! BEGONE! LEAVE OUR CRIB! JUN THEM WOODS ARE BACK!

Jun: (observing him and his drugged-out corner) You're killing yourself!

Kazuya: Fu-FUCK YOU!

Nina: Bitch you was lucky last time, but now, you're mine.

Jun: Not fucking now! Unlike you, I care about him more than his dick. A "great" difference between a woman and a whore.

Nina without thought, goes at her and the rematch initiates.

Kazuya: (flees upstairs from these wild demons) AHHHHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHHHHH! PLEASE! DEVIL PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Unknown: (observing them from a distance as usual) It never gets old indeed. I'm surprise she didn't succumb to me yet. I like seeing her squirm.

Devil Jin: This blonde got jeans on her.

Unknown: Don't, be your daddy!

Devil Jin: I'm just lookin' that's all.

Unknown: Don't even gawk! A "look," is a gateway to Hell.

Devil Jin: I mean she got an ass ma damn.

Unknown: (spots the three criminal dummies after rolling her eyes) Great. The three clowns are back.

Devil Jin: This shit is better than a damn theater!

Kinjin: This time, we gonna squish the shit outta them!

Tetsujin: Yea boy when these pellets kicks in this iron mass baby, I'm gonna be unstoppable!

Mokujin: I won't be navin' no one's tacos! Watch my beef go up this bitch!

Mokujin &amp; Tetsujin: "E'rybody in the club getting tips!"  
Kinjin: SILENCE my two nincompoops! (sees the two women at war) Our enemy seems to be occupied.

Mokujni: This will be easy!

Tetsujin: Yo let's go!

Kinjin: (clash their heads together) NO NO NOOOO! Why do I have two dumbass failures?! Always plan, shit, up. You never go in without a got-damn plan geese!

Tetsujin: Well plan shit.

Mokujin: We did plan it! Just go in there and get what's our's.

Kinjin: But y'all didn't think that their mini war will turn on us? It might be all play.

Nina goes through the window.

Mokujin: It looks real to me.

Tetsujin: Two women. There's no such thing as "play," between them; especially when it involves a man.

Mokujin: And how this goin' down? They're probably fightin' over one.

Kinjin: Nice excuse, but just bargaining up in there with her around? All kinds of storms will hit!

Jun: (after finishing her devastating combo) Now take your ass back to the hospital! (leaves her to bleed)

Mokujin: I mean no one can top this bitch.

Tetsujin: Fuckin' Zena man.

Mokujin: A got-damn warrior princess. Yep.

Kinjin: Let's retreat. This is not a good time to strike.

Tetsujin: King you serious?! This is a real good time to rob them!

Mokujin: I don't know what went down, but depression's roaches are infecting this house. Real good time boos!

Kinjin: With them in it?! NO! The house must be sparkling clean of them before we even make an attempt. LET'S GO!

They left whining and complaining.

Kinjin: SHUT THE SHIT UP!

Unknown: Heh, heh, heh, heh. Strong intensity we have here.

Devil Jin: Man my dad's a mess. He smoked two thousand joints in less then three days, then drank the whole store! And he's still LIVIN'?!

Unknown: Death don't want him. Nobody wants him sweetie.

Devil Jin: Dude should've been dead when he hit five.

Unknown: We need to hurry up before Ogre and Jinpachi arrives. The last thing we want, is the repeat of Azazel; the world needs to be rectified the right way. And that's through death, not through tedious speeches.

Devil Jin: And the only way the shadow can doom this dammed world is by me fightin' myself and my dad doing the fuckin' same.

Unknown: Them two will be a problem. But you will get your day now, please have patience; I can't expand that no longer than I have to.

Devil Kazuya: (running to them all excited) YO BABE! I FOUND MY HOUSE! And it got family up in there!

Unknown: Tell me something I don't know.

Devil Kazuya: Bra it even got this fine ass vampire. She can suck this any day.

Devil Jin: Dad man, I'm around bra.

Unknown: We're serious right now you twit?!

Devil Kazuya: What? I mean if our godly side is facing the end, then we should too. Plus us, Mishimas are dogs. We like women.

Unknown: (looking at the bra that fell off his horn as he rushed to them) I can see that. Fine. Do what you want. As long as you kick your ass during the process.

Devil Kazuya: Why should I kick my own ass? While ya standing there trying to piss me off, why don cha flex that neck and please yourself. (points at her purple water land) Bent that back and do magic!

Devil Jin: NO RESPECT YO! I'm, HEEEEEEEERE!

Devil Kazuya: You're a grown man with fantasizes. Now get to discovering!

Unknown: (nabs his ear to her mouth with intense force) You will not, be a horny ass in front of my son. We will talk a long one, after he awakens half of the shadow okay? (Palms the mess out of him)

Devil Kazuya: (cracks his nose back in place) Prince from "Purple Rain" looking ass bitch. Fine! Son, leave now!

Devil Jin: Nah bra I wanna see this!

Unknown &amp; Devil Kazuya: LEAVE US!

Devil Jin: Okay damn I'm gone. (flies off)

Unknown: You make me sick.

Devil Kazuya: Breaking my nose was uncalled for bitch.

Unknown: Stop having dirty eyes and see for once! You have a wife with a kid and you fuck around! Do you know how badly it impacts our little son?! He's deep in your nasty crap!

Devil Kazuya: I was not around him when I do my shit! What impacted our boy was us constantly fighting! That's what fucked him away!

Unknown: And you're the host.

DeviL Kazuya: Didn't have to make a big deal out of it.

And strangely enough, both side are saying the exact same thing. The dark couple argues within the shadowed trees and the "light" side are dueling it out in the restroom, due to Kazuya throwing up a lot of food and liquor.

Jun: (patting his back) There you go. Throw it all out.

Kazuya: (lays out after finishing) Damn man. My Spyro. You killed my Spyro!

Jun: (throws the teddy dragon at him) There's your ugly dragon!

Kazuya: (gets all cuddly) My Spyro.

Jun: Can we talk now?

Kazuya: GOBBLE! I don't talk to people that's a threat to Spyro!

Jun: *heavy sighs* Fine! Do what you want with your "Spyro!"

Kazuya: WHERE'S MY JUN?! YOU'RE JUST A CARBONATED FAKE!

Jun: (aimlessly looking around her nearly blind) Okay. Okay I see. You fucked yourself way too much. (gets a bucket of cold water and dumps it all on him)  
Kazuya: I WANT MY JUN FEMALE DEVIL! I'M A THUG FOO'! (goes crazy like a dying roach after experiencing a cold crash) OHHHHHH SHIT! ACID! HYDERGEN JEAN BIOCARNATION ACID!

Jun: I'll be in the living room waiting on you "actual" self to return. (heads for so and sees Unknown) _Great. Like shit wasn't "whoopie" enough._

Unknown presents her a spot to sit on.

Jun: I guess I should say thanks.

Unknown: Trash that. Let me take over and dispose of this man.

Jun: Hell no! Please find another time to piss me off okay?

Unknown: Shit I just got here! You think you got it easy? Shit I bet my life on it.

Jun: Well go on ahead and hang yourself. I do, a damn lot easier than you.

Unknown: HA! Funny. My man is just as mentally challenged as yours. All I want, is to put yours out of misery so this bastard can go home.

Jun: Why don't you go suck his dick and leave me the hell alone!

Unknown: Bi carbonated shit head! It appears you're playing me today.

Jun: Because I'm tired. Tired of you, tired of him, I'm just fucking done okay?!

Unknown: Bitch, tired is when you're spirit is worn the fuck out! Near death is when you're tired and you're not even close sister!

Jun: You don't know me well like you should.

Unknown: I just got through fighting my man and your doing this?!

Jun: Now you know how I feel.

Unknown: I didn't do shit!

Jun: Yet!

Unknown: You don't know me so swell neither. You can't predict me. You will fail miserably!

Jun: Whatever. (laying on her back) Just don't fall as you walk the fuck out.

Unknown: (storms to her feet) GET UP! Bring your ass on!

Jun: Get, out!

Unknown: Make me.

Out of nowhere a water balloon speeds in like a bullet and explodes all on Unknown's breasts.

Devil Kazuya's voice: BULL'SEYE! YEAH! WHAT! Milk needs a little boost!

Unknown: Punk ass bitch!

Another flies in and blows her juicy spot up.

Devil Kazuya's voice: See I'm trying to help you out! Yo shit is getting dry and humid! Pussy needs help! It's desperate for love, getting stale bra!

Unknown: Y-y-you bastard!

Devil Kazuya's voice: You two can watch porn some other time. 'Cause you, my sweet, needs to get wet in the worst way! So let's go!

Unknown: Fa, fa, FREAK!

Devil Kazuya's voice: I mean we can go right here and now. Make her sleep memorable.

Unknown: Y-YUCK MAN! (he starts chasing her) STOP! I'M NOT IN THE ZONE YET! YOU WANT TO DIE?!

Devil Kazuya's voice: DINE ON THESE NUTS!

Jun: Good riddance.

She close her eyes and a minute later, something large lands on her stomach. She reluctantly opens them and sees the back of Kazuya's head.

Jun: _What the hell._

Kazuya: (to his stuffed friend which is standing by her leg) I thing this is her Spyro. The Jun I know lays out when the days are rough.

Jun: _This, guy, is, challenged. _(puts a hand on his head and rubs it) _I didn't know he was that special to go all retarded like this. I guess I'll give him one more chance. His father messed him the hell up._

He goes to sleep.

Jun: _I guess I should sleep too. Damn, what else can happen I wonder? (joins her husband and goes to dreamworld)_

And here comes the three constant determined oak folks, silently roaming their house right under their noises.

Mokujin: (silently) Bra, this is real risky. She's probably looking at us.

Tetsujin: (silently shaking) Yea bra sa-she's sleepin' with her eyes open.

Kinjin: The sooner y'all get the green, the better. (observes the corner loaded with cigarets and bottles) _They got "money" to buy all this._

The brothers made up their mind to get near them and sing "Winnie The Pooh." and be constant with it.

Jun: (not going to bother) _And in a miler second, we got the three big jumbos._

Mokujin &amp; Tetsujin: (butchering and out of harmony) "Winnie the Pooh! Winnie The Pooh!..."

Kinjin: (the first to hit the door fleeing) YOU DUMB ASSES! ALWAYS ACK ABSURD!

Kazuya: (in his sleep) Man Spyro, tell Gnasty's goons to shut the hell up.

They flee off like roaches from the kitchen when they saw Jun's hand stroking her husband's head.

Kazuya: (maintaining his sleep) That's what I'm talkin' about right there. RUN FAGGOTS!

Jun: _Dumb and scary. Two traits a criminal needs to be a professional. Please, not in this lifetime._

Meanwhile with the kids, Asuka slept by herself and for the first time, used a pillow instead of Jin. Jin gave her girl, Xiaoyu a tour around this wonderful mansion after wrapping up her pounded head in a towel; royal hallways loaded with historical statues like George Washington; a liberty with a black and white swirly theme; fancy restrooms with golden rails at the end of them all, and of course, the golden treasure room where she climbed into and broke something playing a little too much. After that, they spend time at the beach.

Xiaoyu: (can't keep her eyes off of it) That place is, mad gone!

Jin: Yep, a place where to run to if shit don't go well.

Xiaoyu: I don't wanna leave it. It even have Barack Obama and Michael up in there! I mean it got all the U.S history!

Jin: Glad you enjoyed it.

Xiaoyu: I mean it got a, big, ass globe. Got me feelin' it's another planet in there.

Jin: I mean it's a big ass mansion. And it's all ours.

Asuka wakes and looks out the window. She sees them kissing and lets infuration take over.

Asuka: _You're not gonna allow this bitch to live with us! I won't allow it CUZ! Girlfriend or not, she ain't welcomed!_

Xiaoyu: Oh man, I'm almost ready to make babies from that.

Jin: I'll wait. (lifts her shirt and presses her naval)

Xiaoyu: OOP! (looking bewildered) Damn Jin what was that?

Jin: You gonna feed babies well with that.

Xiaoyu: Yeah but, OOP! You're the first to be obsessed with a rare part of a woman.

Asuka: (accosting them fists all ready) That's from his daddy!

Xiaoyu: (frightened, hides behind Jin) JIN SHE'S BACK TO KILL ME!

Asuka: Yur damn right bitch! Jin move!

Jin: Man sit yo ass down cuz.

Asuka: MOVE YO ASS!

Jin puts her over his shoulders and heads for the mansion.

Asuka: (wildly struggling) NO CUZ! SHE A GOLDDIGGIN' WHORE! A STALKER! SHE'S TROUBLE!

Xiaoyu: My man will dispose of you!

He enters in the swirly library and throws her on this couch that's shaped like a bed.

Jin: YOU TROUBLED, mental "FUCK!" WHAT'S UP!

Asuka: Jin trust me on this. You don't know women like I do, and I see na-nothin' but trouble from her.

Jin: Man get outta here with that.  
Asuka: It's a woman thing!

Jin: Well it's wrong! You both will, get along! Or you're both out!

Asuka: Wra, what?

Jin: Did I stutter?

Asuka: Please Jin trust me! I had yur ass way back when we was little! And you just gonna let this bitch you barely know come on top of our relationship?!

Jin: I know her since high school for your information.

Asuka: But still, we're family Jin.

Jin: C'mere.

Asuka: (delighted to be of service) Yes cuz. (gets the same belly treatment) That better be the only trait you and our daddy have in common.

Jin: You will both get along, tolerate each other. Hell y'all might even be the best of friends.

Asuka: (pissed, but not even going to fight him) Fine. But if she slips up, she's mine.

Jin: And you're be homeless. Believe that. (gives her a book and leaves)

Asuka: (examines the book, then something comes up) Well how about a tour huh? It's my first time here ya know.

Jin: (not feeling it, but don't want to be mean) Come on then.

He gives her the tour and theirs was a whole lot longer, due to him going in detail about every president since she chose to drop out from school.

Eliza: (ambushes them a second later) Enjoying yourselves? Loving my house?

Jin: Bitch it's not cho house damn get off those cocktails son!

Asuka: Just because you take guys here to fuck? Don't mean it's your house!

Eliza: Always containing some amusing joke bush-head brat!

Asuka: Because I'm a amusin' independent woman who cares about herself to not be a pale dried up raisin! STOP LAP-DANCIN'!

She roars at them.

Jin: So we a monster now?

Asuka: Make up your mind! You either be a vampire, or Bowser. You can't be both I'm sorry.

Eliza: You young people make me sick! Always disrespecting your elders!

Jin &amp; Asuka: Bitch what elders?!

Asuka: You young as hell no wait, that's from plastic surgery!

The young Kazamas got a laugh out of that.

Jin: That was a good one yo.

Asuka: But look at her! Probably might even crack and reveal her true self if we hit her fragile ass.

Eliza: I had about enough of your trivial insults! Vegeta and Goku, Prepare to meet this being called DEATH!

Xiaoyu: (Running in) STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!

Asuka: Little girl wait cho turn now.

Xiaoyu: Fuck our problems! Let's crank up on this yeast first!

Eliza: If you know the true owner of this place, you would pack your shit, and leave. They're on their way back. You all better hurry. They are known to kill those that's within the territory.

Jin: Bitch I had enough of your bullshit! You're in ours so take this ass whuppin' YEET!

Asuka: (charges at her) HERE COMES THE HURT!

Predicting the strike, she nabs Asuka's raging arm and slams her down.

Asuka: JEEEEET!

Eliza: Time to have a boner. (goes in for a drink) It's time to get high for us both he-hehee.

Asuka: (arm on a verge of being dry) EEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOO SHIT WHITNEY &amp; BOBBY! DO SOMETHIN'!

Xiaoyu get cymbals and clashes them together, producing a loud piercing noise vampires can't stand. Eliza just hisses at her.

Eliza: It'll take more than noise to get the best of me!

She clashes them again.

Jin: I smell lies bitch. Can't handle musician folks mother fucker?

Eliza: THAT'S NOT GOT DAMN MUSIC! IT'S DISTURBING!

Xiaoyu: GET UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT! (clash)

The vampire screams at the top of her lungs, covering her ears. Then vanishes in the dark cursing them.

Jin: That's my girl bra! (kisses her)

She merely giggles.

Asuka mimics her giggle in a vulgar way.

Asuka: Ya think ya so smart. Shit I had her.

Xiaoyu: She was about to grow titties out yo ass!

Asuka: Yo mother didn't say that when she made you through an oily discharge!

Xiaoyu: How about a fucking thanks! I saved your life!

Asuka: My "tin-gl-lin'" ass! You saved my ass jackboots!

Xiaoyu: Jin I'm trying here!

Jin: I see. (walks off) Asuka C'mere!

Asuka: But Jin she's...  
Jin: Come, the fuck here!

She glares and bucks at her.

Xiaoyu: (flinch back so fast and hard, she hits the ground) JIIIIIN!

Jin: ASUKA KAZAMA! GET, IN, HERRRRRRRRRRRE!

Asuka: _Pussy ass bitch! _(follows him back into the library) *blows her breath* But Jin you don't understand! My gut tells me she's trouble!

Jin: You women got ya thing, we got ours. Somethin' tells me your jealous. Are you? Do looks matter?!

Asuka: (not believing he's asking this) _Really yo?..Really... _I'm not fuckin' jealous of a child! That bitch is a young prehistoric immature brat!

Jin: Like you!

That shuts her up.

Jin: It's about time you shut up. Let me tell you her biography. She's a little girl, okay, girl.

Asuka: I got that duh.

Jin: Little girl watch yo mouth.

Asuka: (ludicrously) Like you tryin' to play daddy like, this is so ridiculous.

Jin: (yanks his belt away from his waist) Bitch I'm the older cousin! (nabs her arm)

Asuka: No Jin please I'm sorry! JIN PLEASE!

He goes to work, and Xiaoyu fixes herself some caramel popcorn merely enjoying the show. Asuka lets out a long cry after the last lash goes across her rear.

Jin: NOW GO TO YO ROOM!

Asuka: (tears free falling and rolling down her face) _Damn, he got on the same cheek. I'm so gonna feel this one tomorrow. _

Xiaoyu laughs loud and wildly; this made Asuka hugs Jin as tightly as she could, constantly apologizing. This pisses Xiaoyu off.

Xiaoyu: _You dare touch on my man you fucking incest?!_

Jin: Okay cuz, now go on to yo room now.

Asuka: I'm real sorry! I miss sleepin' on you and...  
Xiaoyu: (now having a sour taste for her) Now TIME THE FUCK OUT! TIME, THE FUCK, "OUT!" You been sleeping on my MAN?! GROOOOOOOOSS!

Jin: (knowing where this is going) Now let's not be homeless now.

Asuka: I sleep on him, everyday to feel his heart beat bitch! Same bed and all!

Xiaoyu: (highly grosses out) You're disgusting! You're sick!

Asuka: I even stick my tongue out to make sure it's beatin'!

Jin: YO THAT'S A LIE! YOU FOUL CUZ!  
Xiaoyu: (critical condition) EWWWWWWWWW! EWW! SICK ASS BITCH! YOU CAN HAVE HIM YOU INCEST! MAKE ALL THE MUTATED BABIES YOU WANT! I'M OUT! (storms out)

Jin: (runs after her) Xiaoyu please!

Xiaoyu: She gave you an infection, and I don't want it! She's sick Jin. She like you so much she...How long?!

Asuka: (didn't even hesitate) From day one as little children!

She hits the grass crying her little eyes out.

Jin: Yeah that's all true, but we didn't fuck.

Xiaoyu: Y'all sick! Y'all deserve each other! (shoves Jin off when he came to her and left without looking back)

Asuka: Smart move bitch!

Jin: Man I should just punch you in your mouth!

Asuka: Hell you can even kill me! She's not welcomed to live with us! This was our paradise and you said nothin' about havin' a guest! And a female at that.

Jin: I told it to her as well!

Asuka: Behind my back. You're awesome.

Jin: Don't turn the tables on me you little brat. What you did was wrong, and you're gonna have to move back with our parents.

Asuka: The hell I will!

Jin: I did it behind your back because I know who you are. We're so close, you'll beat a girl to near death when they're or I'm interested. And you proved that a few hours back. She's little!  
Asuka: Ya damn right. Man fuck the size, I'll get them amazon bitches too! Them ho's are "all" about money and destoryin' lives of innocent men. Yur not gettin' caught up in that shit now.

Jin: I know her. She's not that type. Now resuming the biography, She faced bulling every, single day. And no one including the teachers, bothered to lift a fucking finger. I was the only one that brought them fuckers to justice! Plus she helped me with those damn finals. And all of those years, she didn't do shit to be called a whore. Every job she got, nothing but good complements. She's a good woman, and you fucked it up! I want you outta here my the morning! (goes in and leaves her to cry and sob) And make sure you eat up, it's a long walk back!

Xiaoyu hid in a bush and heard their entire conversation. Something told her to stay and be noisy. She eyes couldn't produce anymore tears. She dried them out.

Jin: (coming back to tell her something else) And you need a boyfriend. So I'll hook you up.

Asuka: L-like hell you will.

Jin: Maybe if you have a fine boyfriend, maybe you will change a little from a mean spiteful ass to decency. You fucked this day up! Not cool Asuka. Not cool. (walks back in) You need a boy in your life and I gotchu!

Asuka: I didn't know! I thought she was corrupted, but I was wrong! Please don't kick me out! I did what I did to protect you cuz!

Jin: I'm not hearin' yo fake cries! I want you gone by the time I wake up and I MEAN IT!

Unknown: Everything is going according to plan. It appears that your time is near.

Devil Jin: It's about time.

Unknown: All we have to do is wait for him to leave.

Eliza: (walking by drinking like last time) Man you people are scary as hell. Y'all need a drink.

Devil Jin: I want beer!

Unknown: Lady keep stepping.

Eliza: What do y'all want? Just standing there looking lost. Y'all lost? Then go north then stay on it. You see guys, caramel and Hershey flavor. Then you got that rare cookies n' cream hotdog. Shit so real it'll put you to sleep. (takes a sip)

Unknown: Little girl, the owner will be disappointed in you for allowing strangers to move in.

Devil Jin: I still want my beer.

Unknown: You ain't getting crap son so shut it.

Devil Jin: Man I'm thirsty. I'll get the beer myself.

Unknown: SON! GET, BACK HERE!  
Eliza: Take the whole damn fridge! (guzzles the whole bottle down) Man fuck Jinpachi! Fuck his loyal Ogre! I need a bigger bottle.

Unknown: Lucky you have eternal life. You would've been dead by now. How many bottles was that?

Eliza: Your mother's tuition. Like I would answer to a naked bitch.

Devil Jin: (flies by Asuka) I need somethin' da drink!

Asuka: Jin please I'm sorry okay?! (noticing something was funny about him) Jin? Yo you grew wings?!

Devil Jin: (flying out with his drink) I got my beer bra TURN UP!

Asuka: (horrified of his new appearance) JIN! What is goin' on?!

Devil Jin: (still flying away) I'm not real yet lady!

Asuka: (decides to track him) Jin you're a little weird today and I need to know why!

Unknown: (looking at Eliza smoking) I hate grass.

Eliza: Love it slime ball. It's all over to make us happy. (inhales it in, then coughs it out) This som' good shit.

Unknown: I'm taking my son kicked your ass every time you tried to ease them out.

Eliza: Which one? That little ungrateful broadwalk fuck with his wanna be gangsta tomboy?

Unknown: Yeah.

Eliza: He and his "insects" win. I give up.

Devil Jin: Ma, we have to go.

Asuka's voice: Did the gene kicked in already? Or did I really fuck yo day up?

Unknown: YOU ATTRACTED TROUBLE?!

Devil Jin: I didn't see her damn!

Eliza: I should go to. Wanna try this young man?

Devil Jin: I don't smoke. I drink.

Eliza: Don't we all.

Unknown: (takes her rolled up grass and crushes it) You're high! That's why you can't scare them off!

Eliza: This is my first, Christmas even!...Even...what the fuck did I do? Getting my ass kicked! My first time you offered purple evidence!

Unknown: (having sympathy for her) Poor creature. (sees Asuka's shadow and sinks in the ground) Your brain cells aren't eternal you know.

Devil Jin: (sees her shadow and flies off to space) FUCK!

Asuka: Yo Jin! (looks around and sees the vampire) Hey Snow White, you see-(sees a crushed cigarette and a load of empty bottles, then at her which is oblivious) You didn't see shit. Never mind. (resumes her search)

Eliza: I SAW YO MOTHER! SHE WAS ON HER KNEES DYIN'! If ya know my language young jeans with dickholes in 'em.

Asuka's voice: You mean yo mother! Bitch stop that smokin' and drinkin' it's bad for you! There's other ways to settle yo lost against us humans ya know.

Eliza: (her drunken state kicking in) Your mother told me that SUNNY OH, SOON ENOOOOO-HO!...Bitch, witch she was wra-wunnin'! (falls asleep)

Asuka: This fuckin' Gerber Baby! (gives up and heads back for home) Damn! Jin please come back!

Back on the grownups. They had a peaceful sleep after the oak gang fled off like cowards. A singing phone interrupts the peace five hours later.

Jun: _Must be one of our kids._

She slowly moves Kazuya's head and notice that his tongue was all in her naval. She just hurls him to the wall.

Jun: NASTY FUCK! (answers her phone) Hello? SHUT UP!  
Kazuya: (pops up after his head crashes in the wall) FOUL!

Jin's voice: Hey mom. We need to to meet around midnight.

Jun: Midnight? Why so late?

Kazuya: (acts dramatic over a little gash) Uuuuh fuuuck! Shit man my head is bleeding! I'm about ta die Spyro! (wines on and on like a baby)  
Jun: If I have to say shut the fuck up one more time! Hold on Jin.

Jin hears her wrapping him to the wall with duct tape.

Jin's voice: And y'all still at it. I don't believe this. That should be stale by now man c'mon and do some new shit. Smell the flowers or go to Disney or somethin'.

Jun: Now SHUT UP! (on her phone) Okay I'm back.

Jin's voice: Meet me at Heaven Garden ma. I just saw something that involves family.

Jun: Huh? Did my daughter?!  
Jin's voice: NO-NO-NO! She's fine. I just saw myself with wings and this purple chick that's a spitting image of you. I think they have a connection somehow and you probably know them.

Jun: _I don't believe this, I should've saw this coming..._Why midnight?

Jin's voice: I just need to be away from my cuz for a while.

Jun: Now y'all having issues on top of that?! Unacceptable! I'm not doing this!

Jin's voice: Well I'm still going for the hell of it! Hell surprise me!

Jun: Young man don't cuss around me. (contemplates at Kazuya for a while, then makes a conclusion) _I need to get away from this freak myself! Gonna stick your slimy ass tongue in my belly..._Fine, I'll be there okay?! We have a lot to talk about anyhow.

Jin's voice: Yes we do. Something's not right about those sinister beings. Then I need to know why y'all gonna end y'alls marriage.

Jun: Who told you that?!

Jin's voice: Them weird a... just dark beings.  
Jun: Did you say ass?! Son did you say ass?!

Jin's voice: I stopped myself ma! They said a lot of shit that needs questioning.

Jun: _I knew they couldn't stay in the dark for long..._Wait, did you cuss?

Jin's voice: I didn't say nothing special.

Jun: You said "shit" don't lie to me!

Jin's voice: I said "lick." Licker Beta mom, lots of 'em. They like toys pooyan!

Jun: Un-huh. Whatever you say, standing there saying senseless shit. I'll let you slide because you're not here. But say something during our time together, I'll tear that ass up! You can be an old man; you're still a kid in my eyes! You will never cuss 'til the day I die understand?!

Jin's voice: Bra I didn't say nothin' bra!

Jun: Now you're admitting it. You said "bra" twice in one sentence. Just like your father. He would say bra a lot when he's guilty of something.  
Jin's voice: (away from the phone) WHAT THE FUCK MA!...Man I'm nothin' like my father!

Jun: (hearing his distant voice)Excuse me speak up now...There's nothing wrong with getting "some," of his traits.

Kazuya: (frees his mouth) POLICE! POLICE MY RIGHT TO WALK HAS BEEN STOLEN FROM ME! JUN WILL DO WHATEVET IT TAKES TO GET THIS DIVORCE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!

Jun: Son I have to go.

Jin's voice: Yeah yeah, put him in his place.

Jun: He will sign these damn pa...I'm sorry...Bye. (ends the call)  
Jin's voice: WHAT?! After all of these ye...(beeep)

Kazuya: (frightened from her glare at him) C-come suck by dick bra!

Jun: You will sign these papers now!

Kazuya: Man sign these nuts! I won't give you the satisfaction!

Jun: Those "nuts," will be down your throat if you say "these nuts" again.

Kazuya: (rips free and goes for the door) BITCH! These, these!

Jun: (ready for him) Go on, say it.

Kazuya: (runs out) THESE NUTSACKS!

The wild chase of man being haunted by a woman busts out the house!

Heihachi: Yea son tell her those are yo nuts! And they are the supreme head of the household! Cut hers off! Prevent hers from growing and take yo pants back!

Jun: You're making shit worst old fart!

Kazuya: These are MY nuts, and it reclaimed it's throne!

Jun: Bore me to sleep with that lie! You're a lousy man! I run shit because you can't! I wear the pants because you're too busy sniffing panties!

Kazuya: Yo shit ran out of scent and I missed yo pussy! I can't get pleasure with dry shit now! (rams into a car and falls in it)

Jun: (now severely in stress) Then why did you marry me if you like to whore around?! A marriage is a bond between two lovers, a promise. You held nothing up! I was doing my fucking part! You broke my heart, and made it unrecoverable by saying my shit is too old for you. Very well, I guess I am "too, old."

Kazuya: No I didn't mean it like that!  
Jun: Shut up I'm talking! Let all the fresh meat you injected, give you all kinds of STD's! Since I'm too stale for you. You know what, fuck the divorce. We're just be a distant couple for the rest of our days. We're through. (walks off) Shove that ring and those fucking papers, up your horny nasty ass!

Heihachi: You just gonna let this bitch disrespect you manhood like that?!

Kazuya: Dad she's right.

Heihachi: We are the Mishimas! We run this world! We go upside bitches heads when they try our lives!

Kazuya: You can't control everyone dad.

Heihachi: Yes the fuck-you went soft on the bitch! You can't go soft on NO ONE son! Gotta put yo foot down on these bitches!

Kazuya: I did that and look at what happened. She's gone for life!

Heihachi: Then you're free son. Free to go back to clubs and get lap dances. Get a nice rub from a striper's ass. Get that good ol' saddle.

Kazuya: That's what fucked me up! I hanged out with you for too long!

Heihachi: You handled her wrong! Should've shoved a fist down her fuckin' throat. Put her in her place.

Kazuya: She mirrored all of that. I feel dead. (trudges in his house)

Heihachi: You didn't do shit to deserve that son! You the man! She's the woman, and you know what that means, you have power over her! And that's the rules from the supreme! Control, break her when her spirits are high. You was weak! A fuckin' pussy eh! (walking off, still downing his son)

The gang returns yet again to rob the Kazamas.

Mokujin: Yo man is that Jun?

Kinjin: Something just went down.

Tetsujin: (sees a trail of wet dots on the sidewalk) I think they had a divorce or somethin'.

Kinjin: Fuck that. Time for our money.

Mokujin: (hears music within the house) Y'all hear dat?

Tetsujin: Ohh yeah. That's my jam. "How, does, It, fe-heeel!"

Kinjin: "Help me take off yo clothes and I'll. I'll, I'll, I, I, I, EH-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAH!"

Mokujin: "I feeeeeeeeeeeel."

They was starting to have people to look at them sideways; like Juri while running from her rivals Chin-Li and Cammy.

Kinjin, Tetsujin &amp; Mokujin: (sounding just as funky as the original) "HOW DOES IT FEEL!"

Lee: The hell?

Lars: Are those live toys?

Heihachi: Where's my bug spray? Them fuckin' cockroaches are back again.

Then the house screeches a long piercing "yeah."

Unknown: (at Fallen Gardens hearing that painful screech) You heard that?

Devil Jin: Damn the lady can sing! Asia can damn sho' hear that.

Unknown: What about the astronauts? If they can hear that, then the sound barrier needs a serious upgrade.

Devil Jin: Real talk though. That Jun must've put a hurtin' on him.

Jin: The fuck?

Asuka: Was that my dad? Good grief he can scream!

Jun: (looking behind her) _I think God's mad at us, and I don't blame him._

On to our young Kazamas. Jin was in bed sleeping up for the trip to Heavenly Garden. Here comes his cousin, joins in and sleeps on his heart to hear it beat for the last time. She then uncontrollably weeps.

Jin: C'mon cuz. You brought this on yourself.

Her weeping gets worst

Jin: (rubbing her back) I'm sorry but I can't just end yo sentence. You can cry all you want.

She gets even worst; her nose is beginning to rain tears.

Jin: (can't take anymore) Okay! You can stay. Happy?!

Asuka: B...But, that demon within you.

Jin: (takes in what she said for his talk with his mother) Just stop crying damn! (wiping her tears away with a soft tissue) You about to make me go. (he takes a bare hug from her) _Why did I just do that? Her mean ass will never learn. She better go on this date then, or it's her ass fo' real! _Yo date is on his way. You still need a male friend.

Asuka: No please!

Jin: He's a good friend of mine. If he fucks up, you can kick my ass and call me names for the rest of the week alright?

Asuka: Guys are dogs cuz! Good friend or not, all dogs act the same.

Jin: Yeah he is a bit of a trip, just cover yo legs up real good, all the way. He goes mad crazy and it'll take more than an ass whuppin' to get him off.

Asuka: You c-can't be serious. (blows her nose)

Jin: Other then that, he's the perfect dude.

Asuka: Like hell he is!

Jin: I need some sleep. (lays back down and she follows)

Minutes later...

Xiaoyu: (knocking on the door) Jin? Can we talk?

Jin: (gets up and heads for the door) Xiaoyu?!

Asuka: Go on and talk. I'll be fine.

Jin: You need to get ready for yo date.

Asuka: You're serious about that?

Jin: He never looked at women like that. You will be his first.

Asuka: (sarcastically) Oh that's great news.

Jin: Real talk! He's lookin' forward to it and you should do the same! (leaves the room)

Asuka's voice: Jin you're still mad at me! Please I don't wanna hurt you again with this date!

Jin: GET, READY! You need some time away from this house anyhow.

Xiaoyu's voice: (next door) Baby? We okay?

Jin: (enters in and notices it's all pink and full of bears instead of being red and all about cherries) Damn you did this?

Xiaoyu: I almost made a dumb mistake.

Jin: No you didn't.

Xiaoyu: She, she hates me. She almost killed me. She's spiteful.

Jin: She a mean ass knight, but I got her on check. You shouldn't be scared of her no more.

Xiaoyu: Like, what did I do to deserve my brains to scatter? (cries) She hates me. She don't want me here.  
Jin: You didn't do nothin'. (takes her in his arms) She's no longer a threat okay? _Why do you women like to cry on me? Damn, am I a crying temple or something?_

Xiaoyu: I-I'm sorry Jin but, I will forever fear her. She plagued a curse on me!

Jin: No she didn't. She did all that lo' shit to protect me.

Xiaoyu: (ogles at him) You're still waiting right?

Jin: On what? For you to come back? Yes.

Xiaoyu: I don't mean that. (pushes him down and gets on top) I'm ready for a family.

Jin: Oh! Damn bra like, you rolled in this at a wrong time!

Asuka's voice: BABIES?! OH HELL NO NOT NOW!

Jin: CUZ GET CHO NOSE NOW!

Xiaoyu: You said anytime though.

Jin: I did mean that. I, just can't fuck right now. Family issues are in the way.

Xiaoyu: (slowly turning red) You said you handled her!

Jin: I did! I'm talkin' about my parents like, shit happens now!

Xiaoyu: (gets off him, pouts, and folds her arms) Handle your shit! I guess it's my got-damn turn to wait! My man lied to me!

Jin: NO I DIDN'T!

Asuka's voice: Oh I like this!

Jin: YO DATE ASUKA!

Asuka's voice: Handle yo girl cuz! I got me!

Xiaoyu: I need some time by myself. Get, out!

Jin: Ling I'm sorry.

Xiaoyu: GET OUT! I'll just play the waiting game since handling turmoil is more important.

Jin: Girl please don't go that route with me. This "turmoil" somehow puts the world at risk. Guts ain't no joke. (his phone sings "Super Mario Bros" and he answers it) Yeah?

?: Yo I'm here. Man this bitch looks alike a freakin' castle man. You got, dope bra!

Jin: Yeah I do.

Xiaoyu: (shoves him out) Handle that outside! I don't want no place in your affairs! (slams the door)

?: (hears her) Bra was that her?! Yo I like a mad chick with fine chickens in the river ya know.

Jin: No that was mine's. Work got in the way and she's pissed from it. My cuz is on her way.

?: Yooo I can't wait to see her leeeeegs bra! Chicken talkin' to me bra!

Jin: Man focus on knowin' her first!

?: Yea I got that on Gamestop showdown! I know you don't play about yo cuz.

Jin: Ya damn right. (towards Asuka) Yo he's here!

Asuka's voice: FUCKIN' REALLY?! (gets out in her pajamas) Well i'm goin' like this. Legs are hidden so we cool.

Jin: Like hell we is. Get back in there and wear somethin'!

Asuka: This dude is sick!

Jin: It don't hurt to go on a little date! It'll be over real quick. Now wear somethin' decent dammit!

Asuka: (glares at him) Fine! (storms back in) Shithead mother fucker!

Jin: Call me all the names you want! You're not gonna ease or cry, yo ass out of this one! I'm still pissed! Don't make it worst! You scared my girl fo' life! "That's fucking GAY!"

?: Damn bra handle her! Put her on check I heard that!

Jin: She's on her way yo.

?: Yo! Did God help you with this house?! I mean damn! Look at all of that gold ya freakin' rich!

Jin: You're welcome to take some.

?: You got it like that? Fo' real ya bossin' this bitch?!

Jin: Like a boss.

?: Goooot-Damn bra! Family got that "dope!"

Asuka: (in her geisha outfit) Happy?

Jin: Yeah but, (points at the problem) that leg.

?: "LEG?!" (Jin ends the call)

Asuka: Fuck his doggy ass and your judgment! I'll deal with it!

Jin: I'm doin' shit. You look nice.

Asuka: Let's get this over with so I can get some sleep. It's almost midnight.

Jin: SHIT! (runs away) FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

Asuka: What's up now? (follows him)

Hwoarang: (Jin's rival and close friend; all in brown looking sharp) Yo man let's go! (Jin runs by him) Yo bra damn man we in a rush?!

Jin: HAVE A GOOD TIME YO! SHE'S COMIN'! OH SHI-LOT I'M LATE!

Hwoarang: Yea do whatchu gotta do! You owe me a match! I'm ready to be the champion! Girl better not have caveman legs.

Asuka hides when he saw him.

Hwoarang: (smiling at himself from the golden mirror) "I be on my suit and tie! Shit, tie, shit tie. I be on my suit and tie. Shit tie, shit. (starts to dance) Let me show you, a few thangs. A few, thangs." Bra a few thangs, shawty. Yeah bra I'm chocolate thunder. And my boy's cuz will bring on the rain.

Asuka: You're fuckin' insane!

Hwoarang: (sees her through the mirror and turns to gawk at her beauty) Ohhhhhh shit. (sees her leg and goes crazy) OHHHH SHIT! OH SHIT SHE BROUGHT THE CHOCOLATE WATER ALREADY! OH SHIT! (nuts begins to hurt) OHHHHH SHHIIIIIIIIIT!

Asuka: GET THE FUCK OUT! I Will not be your bitch for sexual desires!

Hwoarang: Girl please bra! Bra we just met!

Asuka: I go off of first impressions and I'm really impressed!

Hwoarang: Jin didn't tell you I go bunkers off of legs and baby you got! (goes Wednesday on a golden piggy bank)

Asuka: Sick ass bitch! (storms off, but something heavy was on her exposed leg; like it was chained to an iron ball; it was him all on it) EWWWWWW! HEEEEEELP!

Hwoarang: Girl I'm pretty sure Jin warned you about this. Should've wore some jeans shawty.

Asuka: (doing whatever it takes to get him off) GET, OFF ME!

Hwoarang: Yo legs are a damn lot better than Carla's!

Asuka: You Perv! You look at all kinds of women!

Hwoarang: If they have legs, yes. She's not even real! She's a evil clone of Ada! You don't play video games?!

Asuka: Ah, no?!

Hwoarang: Shit weird. I be seein' a lot of Capcom folks lately. I saw Ryu, Leon, Ada, Chun-Li. Worlds startin' to mix into one. Then Mega Man came up this bitch!

Asuka: I, don't do VIDEO GAMES! I don't know no Capcom! I don't know no Nintendo! I don't know shit!

Hwoarang: Well know a tinny bit. Almost all know Nintendo through Mario. And Namco through Pac-Man; when he was the shit back then. Now, he sucks balls and his looks sucks balls too. Shouldn't changed his money face yo.

Asuka: (gives up with a sigh) Okay. Do whatchu want. Just don't go no higher than my pussy.

Hwoarang: What? I don't want to fuck yet.

Asuka: Yet, is now, so enjoy rapin' me.

Hwoarang: Yo first entrance sucks balls too. I just want yo legs. Fuck yo "milk, milk, lemonade. Around a corner, a fudge is made." I want "legs, legs, with the thighs. Touch the shins, you get the hens."

Asuka: (laughs a little bit) What, was that?

Hwoarang: I made that shit up girl.

Asuka: (yawns) Well I'm tired and worn out. Can we go out to eat tomorrow?

Hwoarang: (lets go of her leg and stands up) Damn I just got here!

Asuka: I know but, I had a rough day.

Hwoarang: Yeah. Bein' with Jin and his girl ain't pleasurable.

Asuka: It's more than that. I pissed him off.

Hwoarang: Yea, he did had a sad frog in his mouth when he called so, and I now know why.

Asuka: I, I almost killed his special one.

Hwoarang: (couldn't believe what he heard) REAL TALK?!

Asuka: Not so loud! _I don't want that fuckin' vampire to came back. Guaranteed death, and I'm not done protectin' my cuz yet._

Hwoarang: Yo she's a little thang.

Asuka: I know.

Hwoarang: You a little bigger than her yo. Like, how you do it?

Asuka: I'm not goin' in detail!

Hwoarang: Like did chu chock her ass out? Shove her face down the toilet? No wait, did chu blind her with yo (taps her thigh) legs?! Then took her to rush hour'?!

She just glares at him with her fists bald up.

Hwoarang: Okaeeey. The q to shut the hell up.

Asuka: Thank you.

Hwoarang: Man that was a long ass ride, so I'm gonna stay right chere, and sleep in that weird ass lokin' library 'cause I'm out my damn self. A five hour drive yo. Don't got money like yo cuz girl.

Asuka: Be my guest.

Hwoarang: (examining the library as he walks in) Girl wit whatchu got on, you will camouflage up in this joint.

Asuka: _Oh I'm too tired to laugh._

Meanwhile with Jun, she's at Heavenly Garden meditating in the wonderful water. Jin joins her an hour later, exhausted.

Jin: S-sorry mom. (catch his breath) Wroo fuck I'm not doin' that again..

Jun: No need for an apology son. But, yet (opens her eyes to look at him) you do.

Jin: (confused) Huh? What's up?

Jun: Something told me you almost put Asuka on the streets.

Jin: Man how you mothers be knowin' shit?! (gets a smack in the face by lash of water) I forgot I can't cuss around you.

Jun: Sit on down we have a lot to talk as promise. (she waits for him to get his behind wet) Now, I don't know what exactly happened, but puttin' her out is a vicious move. She's closer to you than me.

Jin: LIE!

Jun: I think not.

Jin: Well ma, I changed my mind. She's still livin' with me.

Jun: That's swell. But do you know how evil that sounds? Kickin' your own family out your house for whatever reason? She's not even close to being ready to face life on her own.. She's inevitable Jin! She's permanently attached to you. And the thought of you-let me stop.

Jin: No. It was wrong. Now I'm thinkin' about it and it's evil as hell. We are that intimate.

Jun: Since we took her in.

Jin: Now what's goin' on with you and our daddy?

Jun: It's over between us. We're not having a divorce. I'm just staying my distance for eternity.

Jin: Might as well have a dam divorce.

Jun: Being slick?

Jin: I didn't cuss though. I said beaver dam construction site.

Jun: What ever you say Jin.

Jin: So mess really gotten worst instead of better. What is goin' on?

Jun: Ask him. He's the one that ruined this.

Jin: I'm askin' you though.

Jun: I can't answer for him. In fact, his daddy played a role in this too.

Jin: You mean Eggman Nega?!

Jun: I don't know who that is but yes.

Jin: He's an evil dude with side hairs off of Sonic.

Jun: _Too much video games._

Jin: Now for what we really came here for. Even Asuka saw him.

Jun: What?!

Jin: She said "the demon within me." I don't know what that means. That was me?

Jun: The Devil Gene. It's in all of us. That tattoo on your shoulder is that gene.

Jin: Oh sugar honey ice tea! So we all got those demons as our physical darksides?!

Jun: Sadly yes. The purist or us all believe it or not, is Asuka. She don't have the gene.

Jin: Lucky her. They said somethin' that made me shake. They had plans of fightin' us. I'm not ready to meet my demon yet mom!

Jun: _Plans huh? I knew it. She want that shadow to end this world. _Son, whatever you do, don't fight him.

Jin: He got horns and all. I look haunted as hell.

Jun: You're get use to it.

Jin: You can 'cause yours don't look that bad.

Jun: Jin sweetie, I see them three everyday.

Jin: I'm pretty sure our dad have a scary ass image too.

Jun: It's not all that haunting.

Jin: (gets on his feet) C'mere.

Jun: Why?

Jin: We all need a hug now.

Jun: (comes to him for the hug) You can be sweet at times. (feels her naval being exposed then pressed) Just like your daddy, always fooling me!

Jin: And you fell for it! (chortles)

Jun: (laughs with her son) Well, there's nothing wrong to get a laugh.

Jin: I do Asuka the same way. You both are the touchy types.

Jun: I guess you're right. (puts a hand on his cheek) Everything will be fine.

Their darksides makes a grining appearance, leaving Fallen Garden behind them.

Jin: Oh damn man.

Devil Jin: Damn is right my weak, pitiful self.

Jun: (noticing somethings not right about Unknown) Unknown?

Anonymous: It's still me, with your turkey-neck.

Devil Jin: (bucks at Jin) TURKEY-NECK!

Jin: (flinching back) Oh shit!

Jun: Not a reason to cuss now!

Anonymous: My hidden powers has been unleashed by yours truly! Everything went according to plan. Every prediction has been proven. And now, time for the grand awakening.

Jun: Over my man's nuts.

Jin: (humps at them) These nuts lady!

Anonymous: Funny, because he gave me this immense power. (shows them the keyhole in her palm) I don't even have to go all out anymore, but I must go according to world's entrance to darkness.

Devil Jin: (bucks at them) PUSSIES!

Jin: Jack Grinch! Looking ass Skeleton Jack mother fucker!

Devil Jin: So, you can diss huh?

Anonymous: Don't start son. We're close to winning let's not lose focus.

Jun: You don't even have control over yourself.

Anonymous: Because of you, always have to wear the pants around the house. Trying to make me gay was futile! I will forever be a woman!

Jun: Bitch I'm no man! Unlike you.

Anonymous: Excuse me?! Stop lying to yourself!

Jun: I don't know am I?

Jin: Stay away from my mother!

Anonymous: A little too late to play Mario aren't you? Your defense disgust me.

Jin: These nuts!

Devil Jin: Don't try my mother like that with your old mistletoe with your cousin lookin' fuck!

Jin: I don't roll like that fuck face! Comatose lookin' ass faggot! Standin' there with AIDS lookin' ass mother fucker! I like my momma's pussy ass mother fucker!  
Devil Jin: Bitch ass mother fucker! Beat box lookin' ass mother fucker! Titty incest lookin' ass mother fucker!

Anonymous &amp; Jun: ENOUGH!

Anonymous: Now, prepare yourself. (stretches her arms out and engulfs herself in dark aura) This will be your last fight and day in existence. Enjoy it worthless mortal.

Jun: You may be all powerful, but I can still kick that ass.

Jin: Tell 'em ma!

Devil Jin: You shouldn't be talkin' pussy!

Jin: (grabs his nuts and taunts him) What's this then! BALLS BITCH!

Devil Jin: (taunts him back) These right chere are REAL men's nuts! What you got there is a little joke.

Jin: Unlike you I got a girl!

Devil Jin: That little infant?! HA! You go after little children how sinful.

Jun: Jin please stop.

Jin: Ma, this dude is tryin' my life!

Jun: And you're doing the same! I should whup the hell out of you.

Anonymous: Well go ahead creature. Give your son one, last, punishment for being so disobedient.

Jun: Maybe after I kick your ass.

Jin: B-but why you cussin'?!

Jun: Because I'm the adult.

Jin: But I'm grown too.

Jin: Not in a mother's eyes you're not.

Anonymous: Take over it all! (pushes her Fallen Garden through the entire garden) I had enough of these trivial trials. You will not be victorious Jun, Jin! Evil finally decays this world! (charges at her)

Jun: _Still doing the same shit. This won't be a problem._

Jin: Bra unlike you, I can play basketball with with my girl! She can bounce off these.

Devil Jin: Stay away from steroids crack loser!

They go at it. An hour later, the Jin's take a break.

Jin: (singing) "Uh I'm about to DIIIIIIIIVE INNNNNN!"

Devil Jin: You have a pitiful daddy. If it wasn't for him, this wouldn't be possible.

Jin: DIIIIIIIIIIIIVE INNNNNNNN DIIIIIIIIVE!

Devil Jin: SILENCE!

They go back to intense work. All three brutal brawls, develops this stormy tornado within the Fallen Garden. Then constant lightning comes in to aid the grand awakening.

Anonymous: (finally getting the best of Jun in a hammering combo) YES! YESSSSS! NAHHH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAH! After all of these years, I finally best this annoying pest.

Jin: (getting the best of his devil side by kneeing him in the face non stop) Punk, ass, pussy, Justin, Beeber, (throws his head up and kicks him with the influence of Michael Jackson) FUCK! Yeah! What! Go to sleep bra you can't best a REAL Kazama! (acts like a composer) Yea boy turn that crowd up my orchestra. Got that turnt classic! "I'm about to DIIIIIIIIVE, INNNNNN!"

Anonymous lands in her last scratch and knocks Jun out.

Anonymous: (disappointed that her son lost) A pity. So that just leaves us. You pitiful excuse of this mortal's son.

An immense roar erupts out of the tornado volcano, then the storm fades away.

Jin: You killed my mother! (rushes to her to avenge her lost)

Anonymous: (effortlessly blows him back) I don't have time for a widely exposed opponent. Now the shadow, (sees it rising from the murky waters) it's here.

Dark Black Shadow: (summons his colorful cape) Ahhhh, Tekken. It's beautiful as the rumors say. Too bad who ever summoned me, cursed this world to my realm.

Anonymous grins for satisfaction.

Dark Black Shadow: The three stars have clashed. Now they must decay back into the sun from whence they came.

Anonymous: _Yes. Yes. YES! This world will be no more!_

Dark Black Shadow: Wait, this star's pure, through and through, only until then when she's in gore.

Anonymous: (lividly) WHAT?! You're suppose to end this damn world!

Dark Black Shadow: It's not simple my empty demon. This star shines so bright, so it won't be right.

Anonymous: I went through hell and high water to bring your colorful Afro looking ass here, and you're chillaxing?!

Dark Black Shadow: You indeed accomplished the requirements to summon me, but you left out one. And that's to dispose of this young star. (predicting her) Don't be a fool to strike. As long as the owner exists, so do I. If you strike, you sacrificed nothing but your own life, for I will return home with you by my side.

Anonymous: URRRGH! WHO IS THIS LITTLE STAR?!

Jin knows who it is, takes his mother, and runs back home.

Meanwhile with Asuka, the sun comes back, and the day begins with a stretch and a yawn.

Hwoarang's voice: She up in the closet! She up in the closet!

Asuka: What, the fuck?

Hwoarang's voice: Makin' love, faces. Makin' love! Faces!

Asuka: CAN YOU SHUT UP! Geese the day just started!

Hwoarang's voice: Ya damn right girl! I found a good place for our date girl. I'm turnt up!

Asuka: Good for you!

He follows her voice and comes in her room.

Hwoarang: Bra, even the bedrooms are turnt up! Bra you got a got cuz! All cherry wood and red yes sir!

Asuka: I'm not ready yet. Get the fuck out.

Hwoarang: (lifts the covers to see her legs) Yeah ya smart. You got them britches covered.

Asuka: Yeah, now leave.

Hwoarang: (sees another door and opens) YOOO! THIS A FLY BATHROOM!

Asuka: GET OUT! DAMN YOU'RE ANNOYIN'!

Hwoarang: Yo this joint got all the master rooms.

Asuka: (helps him out) Wait! Okay?! (slams the door)

Hwoarang's voice: You're a bitch like yo cuz, but that's cool.

Asuka: I can see why. You're annoyin' as fuck!

Hwoarang: Girl stop trippin.' (opens the door to another room and sees Xiaoyu) Oh shit!

Xiaoyu: (wakes up) Huh? (sees him) Hwoarang?!

Hwoarang: That's what I'm talkin' about right there! You moved in this bitch!

Xiaoyu: Show did.

Hwoarang: You a gangsta bra!

Xiaoyu: Jin's handling some issues, so I'm waiting on him to come back.

Hwoarang: No sweatin' that. That dude flew out his crib like a bat from hell.

Xiaoyu: I will give him the world when he returns.

Hwoarang: Oh snap. You mean...

Xiaoyu: (nods her head) Oh yeah.

Hwoarang: I'm 'bout to go country dandy up in here! Well tear this bed up! Make them chill-rin!

Xiaoyu: Oh he will enjoy every second.

Hwoarang: Shawty, turn, up!

Asuka's voice: You're ready?

Hwoarang: Yea bra bring them legs on!

Xiaoyu: What you gonna do stuff with her?!

Hwoarang: Oh yeah.

Xiaoyu: She's evil! Vindictive!

Asuka's voice: Bitch I hear you!

Hwoarang: She goes evil when you're a threat to her cuz. But other than that, nah she's a hot chick with legs.

Xiaoyu: She's a spiteful creature!

Hwoarang: Jin put her on check for poundin' you with her legs.

Xiaoyu: Legs?! She used her hands and the wall!

Hwoarang: Damn! I won't be pissin' her off no time soon.

Asuka's voice: Little girl I'm sorry but you're not welcomed here.

Xiaoyu: See?! She's a mean ass bitch!

Asuka's voice: I, Don't want no babies!

Xiaoyu: Then pack your shit and go! Me and my man gonna bring this house down!

Asuka: (in her Aikido uniform) And you will be in it.

Hwoarang: Where's the water?

Asuka: Where fudge is made.

Hwoarang: Now that's foul! (a song plays in his head) C'mon Trey Songz go away now.

Asuka: What? That's another gamin' dude?

Hwoarang: Nah girl. Me and Jin heard this fly ass song one day by this dude. He's real bra... "So deep inside ya girl."

Asuka: Please man don't sing.

Hwoarang: "A beauty, place to beeeeeeeee!"

Xiaoyu giggles.

Asuka: You sound like a box full of wimpy ass puppies!

Hwoarang: "I'm goin' under, (humps at her) fo' youuuuuu-whoooooo!"

Asuka: Ya wild! Real sick! Get out the date is off!

Hwoarang: Nah bra, we 'bout ta dive in this date! (grabs her hand and heads out)

Asuka: (trying to escape) You better get your hand now!

Hwoarang: (instantly scoops her up by the legs when she wrested free) Hell he-hell no I'm not wastin' this trip.

Asuka: (holding on for deer life) You just did! Drop me now! (his customized motorcycle grabs her attention) Oh shit. Yo is that a bike?

Hwoarang: Yeah-heaaaah girl. This mug right e'r is the sonic boom. This shit is fast!

Asuka: (shaking) Y-You said I-it's fast?

Hwoarang: No need to go cat on me. I'll go as slow as you want.

Jin: (runs by them carrying his wounded mother) Oh shit mom please don't go yet!

Asuka: J-Jin?! (hops off of Hwoarang's arms and follows her cousin)

Hwoarang: Oh no. Bra! (concerned as well, follows)

Jin: (wraps her in his arms) Oh shit. Oh shit. No ma ohhhhh, shit!

Asuka: What's goin' on cuz?! Is that our mom?!

Jin: Asuka, stay in here! Please postpone the date!

Asuka: What the fuck is goin on?!

Hwoarang: Postpone these nuts!

Jin: I'm serious bra! There's this purple monster that's out fo' you cuz! She's powerful! She fucked my mom up!

Hwoarang: Man this som' o' joke man!

Jin: This ain't no joke!

Asuka: No Jin! No! You probably grew those wings and fucked her up yourself!

Hwoarang: Those jeans are takin' over ya man!

Jin: I just kicked my own ass a couple of hours ago!

Jun: (weakly) Please. My children, please stop all of this bitterness.

Asuka: Mom? Did he do this?

Jin: You can't be serious man! Look at these scars!

She had a load of bruises and scratch marks, all covered in dark aura.

Jin: Do it look like I'm freakin' captable?!

Hwoarang: You sent me to the hospital and I had a lot of those scars bra! And the shit smoked out just like that!

Asuka: Where's my cousin you devil's slave!

Jin: Man come the fuck on y'all! I never went all demon on you! There are physical clones of us! PHYSICAL AND REAL!

Asuka: (she stops herself from kicking his dark ass) Man let's go on this date. I cannot bear to look at him no longer!

Hwoarang: Not cool bro!

Jin: Please people! Don't go out there!

Asuka: (shoots the bird) SUCK ON THIS JIN!

Hwoarang: Yo girl's waitin on ya, shithead! Go kill her too! (speeds off) DICK HEAD MOTHER FUCKER!

Asuka's fading voice: JINPACHI JUNIOR!

Jun: (reaches out) A-Asuka. Please.

Jin: (holds her stretched out hand) Man you see what kind of shit that just messed the fan up?

Xiaoyu: (concerned about all of the commotion) What's going on out here?

Jin: (lays on his mother's stomach crying) Bra the world is doomed.

Xiaoyu: (about to rain out as well) Mrs. Jin?

Jun: Hey. You m-must be my son's special one.

Jin: FUUUUUUCK! FUUUUUUCK!

Jun: I'm still here sweetie.

Xiaoyu: (joins in and hugs Jin) My ba-baby!

Jin: That bitch is gonna get real heat!

Jun: Don't cuss now.

Xiaoyu: That damn vampire went too far!

Jun: You too lass.

Anonymous: (finally figures out who that star is) _Ahhh, Asuka, the mean brat. _Okay Shadow, I want you to end this world after I dispose of this broad! Hold your side of the bargain!

Dark Black Shadow: No. You will bring her to me. I need to claim her life myself to suppress all.

Anonymous: I don't like being no one's pawn! I'm "no" one's lackeys! I'm not running your errands!

Dark Black Shadow: So be it. The world shall resume to rotate under the eyes of the sun. (slowly sinks down)

Anonymous: Okay okay you win! I'll bring that bitch to you okay?! Sheesh!

Dark Black Shadow: Well hurry before another universe summons me. (sinks anyway)

Anonymous: This is not what I had in mind! Shit is never fucking simple! (riots on and on)

On the other hand, the Kazuyas are being entertained by the William sisters...

Devil Kazuya: (gets a lap dance from Anna) Yes saaaar!

Kazuya: (acts like a dog from Nina's grand shaker) Wroo we Nina! Come (humps) on bra come, (humps) on! Bra, you know me yo!

Devil Kazuya: There's better ways to handle shit other than all this reckless fighting.

Kazuya: And that's getting' laid! (gets to grinding) OHHHHH SHIT! MAN LOOK AT ALL OF THIS ASS!

Nina: There's the Kazuya I know and love.

Devil Kazuya: She want cha bra!

Anna: Get your attention off of them, and embrace my affections.

Kazuya: See the Williams can talk to a brother kay! (gets the blow sensation) KAY! KAY! SPYRO GET A BLOW TOO! GAY ASS!

Devil Kazuya: Dead, ASSSS YO! (gets the same sensation) HOLY SHIT! GAY! GAY! GAY! GAY! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  
Kazuya: KAY! KAY! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Heihachi's voice: (always having fun with his son, just in another room) TRASH! TRAAAAA-HASH! TRAAAAAAAASH! TRAAAAAAAAAAASH! (goes on a constant cry with a woman moaning with him)

Devil Kazuya: Yo daddy's too old-(goggles the roof from this stimulation)GAY! WOAH THAT'S SOME GAY SUCKIN' RIGHT THERE!

Kazuya: Man he goes after old milfs-(eyes go wide too from the same thing)KAY! OOOOOOKAAAAAAY!

Let's check on the mansion. Jin and Xiaoyu are still lying there on Jun, just planning for vengeance.

Jin: _Man she did a good ass job rapin' my mom. BUTCH!..._Oh shit! (leaves for the library)

Xiaoyu: Your momma don't want you to cuss!

Jin's voice: Yeah yeah. Where's that book.

Xiaoyu: (goes in) What book? You like to read?

Jin: (searching through the shelves) No. I could've sworn I had that book about that shadow beast.

Xiaoyu: "Shadow beast?"

Jin: (music takes over) Girl you know I messed up, baby. And I wanna be ya, sugar.

Xiaoyu: (blushing) W-What?

Jin: "Tell me when will I, see you smile again? 'Cause I know I messed up, baby. And I know you're fed up, sugar."

Xiaoyu: Well, well umm. I don't remember you pissing me off. Please stay away from those old jamz.

Jin: (gets on his knees) I wanna see you, sa-MAAAAAAAAH-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Jun's voice: (waking up in a concerned tone) Son are we in pain? I'm not in great condition to take you to the hospital.

Xiaoyu: Umm, Jin's fine Mrs. Jin.

Jun's voice: Are you sure he didn't step on a pin?

Jin: Ma I don't sow like that!

Jun's voice: Well you have me fooled. Oh, I see. Well, keep hurting for your special one.

Jin: MA!  
Xiaoyu giggles.

Xiaoyu: You're so gonna get this after we do whatever.

Jin: So you're patient huh? (finds this all black book) Here we go.

Xiaoyu: You're worth the wait. Is that it? It's all dark and scary.

Jin: (examines the pages) Ohhh yeah, got that ass.

Xiaoyu: (peruses with him and sees the dark skeleton with purple glowing eyes) Please don't tell me that's real and in our world.

Jin: Unfortunately Ling, yes. He's like a genie, but worst.

Xiaoyu: We up against Jafar?!

Jin: This dude's worst than Aladdin! The lamp is the one that summons him. So we find that bitch, take her ass out, and he goes back the fuck home.

Xiaoyu: That got-damn vampire!

Jin: It's not her! It's a yellowed eyed demon that resembles my mother.

Xiaoyu: Jin you see what this says?! "Wherever he goes, destruction follows. Whoever makes this being exists are mental, mad, had enough of mankind!" And this bitch must've had enough of us!

Jin: I don't know girl. I never met her until a few hours back. She's pretty lost to the head.

Xiaoyu: We're done for Jin. He could be in these walls listening in on us. They could be anywhere.

Jin: No we have a chance. This dude wants my cousin.

Xiaoyu: That spiteful bitch?!

Jun's voice: Little girl! I know you're not family, but I will tare that ass up like it is!

Xiaoyu: Sorry Mrs. Jin.

Jin: I don't know what he want with her, but we got to stop him and this bitch!

Jun's voice: JIN! March your dirty ass in here!

Jin: But ma?

Jun's voice: MARCH!

Xiaoyu: I got your back.

Jin: (slowly progressing) Ma, please. You need your rest.

Jun's voice: You know what, little girl, come here too!

Xiaoyu: But, but!

Jun's voice: "But, but? I cussed a lot too!" I'm a beggar like my boyfriend! MARCH YOUR ASS FRONT AND CENTER!

Jin: But what about your blood pressure.

Jun's voice: Boy don't sass me.

Jin: But you a little too old to give out whuppin's ain't cha?

Jun's voice: I said don't SASS me! I see y'all taking sweet steeps. (makes a sharp nose with a stretch of the belt) So be it. (goes after them)

Jin: (hides his face with the book) NOOOOO MAAAAAAAH!  
Xiaoyu: (hides behind her lover) NOOOO MY MAAAAAN!

Jun: SILENCE! (glares at the book) What is this?

Jin: This is the book about that shadow creature.

Jun: Shadow creature? Wait, did she?

Jin: Yes ma. And this book tells us how he came to be, and how to put him back.

Jun: Hmm, we'll talk about that after I beat that ass! (receives a tight bear hug) Get, off, me Jin Kazama!

Jin: (wraps her tightly) I love you ma!

Xaioyu: Yeah look at my man!

Jun: You're making the situation worst young brat.

Jin: You a nice woman ma. You a nice woman!

Jun: I have limits and you both crossed them! This loving shit will not work! So get, OFF!

Jin: We all know, we don't have time for this. The world is at stake.

Jun: Bullshit! Five minutes with you both will be ten seconds for them. We're not wasting time.

Jin: Ma, forgive me. (puts her over his shoulders and walks out the door) Xiaoyu take the belt.

Jun: Jin I know you just didn't! I know you're not carrying me around like a heavy bag!

Xiaoyu: (snatches it) I got it Jin!  
Jun: (too weak to even fight) You little annoying TWIGS! Let me go I can fucking walk! Ohhh just you wait until I'm back in good health! You both won't sit for a month!

Jin: Ma you need to kill her!

Jun: Unknown's too potent. This is a waste! They can't be stopped!

Xiaoyu: You gotta have faith!

Jin: Of all people to lose it.

Jun: You tiny minded children. You have no idea what little chance we have to even overcome the minor stuff like this inevitable ass whuppin!

Xiaoyu: Nothing's gonna stop us from having a fucking family! Your ass whuppins and this shadow fuck ain't gonna stop (points at Jin's hot beans) that, from getting into (makes a circle around her fruits) this!

Both Jun and Jin couldn't believe what they just heard and saw.

Jun: Wow. If you're that determined. (sliently to her son) We need a serious talk about what kind of women to get involved with. She's too young and insanely fast!

Jin: (whispering back) I want kids myself. Mom, we will teach each other carnel knowledge. Then spend about a day tryin' da make a family. E'rybody know the fun part is makin' them.

Jun: You're starting to get your father's ways.

Jin: Well it's true. I'm pretty sure you both had a great time makin' me.

Jun: I don't believe this. She's setting your, your (don't want to call him out)

Jin: My what.

Jun: Your dumb, stupid ass up. It's a trap dammit.

Xiaoyu: What y'all whispering about?

Jun: Jin's investment to college. (back to silence) She's not that kind of woman that will cover your back twenty-four seven. I can see a golddigger in her.

Jin: I don't believe you and Asuka. You both are full of dog sh...Stuff.

Jun: It's a woman's sense. You guys are so busy being fooled by "oh my" our appearances, you won't notice it. We know what kind of games we play. Watch a guy that's richer than you, swoop her away.

Jin: You fuckin' lie. You FUCKIN' LIE!

Xiaoyu: (concerned) Jin?

Jin: I'm fine!

Jun: (maintaining her whispering) Please my dear son. If you really love her, you have to dump her. She will make you broke and leave you dry.

Jin: I know her since high school. She's a good girl and patient. How many girls you know are patient.

Jun: And how many girls play fake? Once she have you where she wants you, her true self will come out. Please Jin, I don't want to see you depressed in the future.

Jin: What ever happens, I will handle it.

Jun: *sigh* I can't force you to do anything. All I can do, is give advice. You go play it out, and learn from it okay?

Jin: Will do mom.

Let's check on Asuka's date. They just reached this resturant called "Yoshi's Wetlands." The building was hidden with trees and kudzu. There was a couple of yoshi eggs etched on the place.

Hwoarang: Oh yeah. I so huungry I'll eat all of this green. (sees Juri by the side shaking her bottom) Yeaaaaaah boy!

Asuka was in another world, thinking about the past events she had with Jin.

_\- Flashback -_

_It was snowing and windy, and Jun was sick. Jin stood beside her the whole time. Asuka was busy doing her hair..._

_Asuka: (blowdrying her head) Hey Jin, can you (powers goes out) Fuck!_

_Jin's voice: You're so sophisticaaaaaaaaaaaaa(holds it out)_

_Asuka: Jin you can't sing! SHUT THAT SHIT UP!_

_Jin's voice: You know our mother have zero tolerance for cussin'._

_Asuka goes in the room he's in and sees her sick mother._

_Asuka: M-mom?_

_Jun: *cough* My dear daughter. I'm fine sweetie._

_Jin: If you die, I die._

_Jun: Don't end your life because of my death. I'll die anyway. *cough, cough* Just know I'll be watching you both._

_Asuka: And Jin, if you go. I go as well._

_Jin: C'mon cuz. You don't mean that._

_Asuka: Yes huh. If she leave, we all leave._

_Jin: You're not leavin.'_

_Asuuka: Then stay. You're the reason I'm still here._

_Jin: I told you not to go to that old man's backyard; nuthin' but dogs._

_Asuka: I don't mean that. Yu-yur everything to me._

_Jin: (wraps a arm around his cousin's neck) Girl c'mere._

_Jun: Oh that's sweet. See Jin, you need to still live to be there for her. I'll be fine. *heavy cough* I hate the cold._

_Kazuya: (enters in shivering) Eeeeeeeeee. Man it's windy as fuck. (sees the gathering) What's up y'all._

_Jin: My mom bra._

_Asuka: She's sick dad._

_Kazuya: Damn! I should've got some cough drops while I was out...Damn the power's gone too. While I get the shit back, you look out for those oak retards._

-Back in reality-

Asuka: _You're my everything Jin, like you're everything to our mom. But why did you attack her? What the fuck Jin!_

Juri: (all up on him) Wanna take me for a spin baby?

Hwoarang: Good night honey. Felines like you, make the world go round!

Juri: Oh you have no idea.

Asuka: _Jin. _(now back) Are we there yet? (sees this woman) What the hell?! (goes upside his head) YO! YO WE SERIOUS!

Juri: And you are?

Asuka: Your great grandmother bitch!

Juri: (rolls her eyes) Anyway.

Asuka: Roll them one more time. Yo ass will look like the Undertaker! Bobcut with direct tv satalites lookin' whore!

Hwoarang: I didn't do shit! She came on me!

Asuka: You know what, this was a waste from the fucking start! Enjoy your "time!" With this! (storms off)

Hwoarang: Miss, please!

Juri: Young fuck you're makin' a right move. He comes here to gripe about the dude that made the place and gets buck wild after getting' drunk. And I'm the sucker that sobers him up everytime!

Asuka: My gut was right. You're a pile of shit, like everyone else! Fuck you, fuck her, fuck this damn restaurant, fuck Yoshi, fuck his wine, fuck your hair, fuck your hairline, fuck your shoes, fuck your face, fuck Wednesday, fuck society for makin' Wednesday "hump day," fuck your private prostitute, fuck your tiny dick, fuck your bike, fuck your shinin' wheels, fuck your gay ways, fuck your manly ways, JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Hwoarang: Girl. Girl please.

Asuka: That is why I don't eat anythin' involvin' crackers, 'cause they got a little pride left untouched, which needs to be! STAY AWAY FROM CRACK!

Juri's voice: D-damn. Epic fail dude.

Hwoarang's voice: You, you FUCKED ME OVER!

Juri's voice: You're the dumbass! You know you come here to get high and laid by, yours truly.

Asuka: _Jin, it's your turn to get a piece of my mind. _(her shadow starts to turn purple) Okay? (now it's starting to get dimensions) Oh shit. No, No! It's that evil DNA everyone has! (Anonymous is born) Jin was right! Here comes my physical copy!

Anonymous: What? Ha! You actually think I was you? Please.

Asuka: (ready for a fight) What do you want?

Anonymous: You. You, to come with me. (summons a dark portal) Now play along, and no one gets hurt.

_Jin's voice in her head: "There's this purple monster that's out fo' you cuz! She's powerful! She fucked my mom up!"_

Asuka: Did you fuck my mom?

Anonymous: What? Find another way to inquire shit, "sweetie."

Asuka: Did you FUCK my got-damn mother?!

Anonymous: Do your mom have a dick?! If not, then no!

Asuka: You're disguistin'!

Anonymous: And your the one to talk! Your tomboyish personality degrades us WOMEN! You need to exist, no more!

Asuka: Bitch bring it! The only way I'll go, is if my cuz go!

Anonymous: How adorable. You believe and sleep in his pathetic lie. Follow his pathetic steps. Look up to this weak mortal. You're below that of an turkey!

Asuka: You clearly think yur hotshit huh? Snotty ass bitch. You look like yur coated in yur own snot boogers. Titty showin freak. Wear a bra!

Anonymous: Just like your mother. A mean, insulting, fuck. You don't know my capabilities. You won't even last a second against me. Your so pitiful, it's ridiculous. You humans no longer pose a threat. Your demise (telepathically shoves her in the portal) awaits! And mankind will join. (walks in the vortex as it shrinks and fades)

The William sisters left them gawking.

Kazuya: Yo. That felt good.

Devil Kazuya: Anna's a gay, wild woman.

Heihachi's voice: HEY! WOODEN FUCK! GET BACK HERE WITH MY ROBE!

Mokujin's voice: MY CLOTHES NOW! "FUCK YO COUCH! BUY ANOTHER ONE YOU RICH MOTHER FUCKER!"

Kazuya: Great. Those oak fucks are at it again.

Devil Kazuya: Now they want clothes. Like they got something to cover up.

Eliza's voice: Do anyone have a drink?

Devil Kazuya: You hear that?

Kazuya: This one got a voice on her.

Devil Kazuya: We "have" to make her moan.

Lee &amp; Lars voice: "GET, THE FUCK, OUT!"

Alisa's voice: But social services said...

Lee &amp; Lars voice: GET, THE FUCK, "OUT!"

Eliza: (walks in) Jeez what assclowns! Hey, do y'all have a drink?

Kazuya: Get out.

Devil Kazuya: Nah bra she came for a drank. (leaves to give her what she wants)

Eliza: I want that crush apple.

Kazuya: Girl c'mere.

Eliza: No.

Kazuya: Get the fuck out and take yur fail with you.

Eliza: You big weasel. You get the fuck out!

Kazuya: You get the fuck out!

Eliza: YOU GET THE FUCK OUT!

Kazuya: (starts making raging movements with what's he's saying) YOU, GET, THE FUCK, OUT!

Eliza: Skinny ass bitch.

Kazuya: Don't let me get out this chair!

Eliza: (sarcastic) Oh I'm so scared.

Kazuya: Get yo vined up legs in stalkings out my crib damn!

Eliza: Jap it's my legs!

Kazuya does a quick, wide hump.

Eliza: Anyway.

Kazuya: (goes all out on his seat) Come, on, o,ver, here!

Eliza: You know what, fuck the drink. (slowly walks off) Nasty, chupacabra!

Devil Kazuya: (comes back with an apple flavored wine bottle) This the Yoshi's exclusive! Where she go?

Kazuya: She left to masturbate in the woods.

Devil Kazuya: And yo slow ass didn't follow?! (speeds out) Man she needs some help with that!

Kazuya: Yeah have fun with that apple syrup!

On the other hand, the travelers take a break.

Jin: (exhausted) Wroo we mom. You don gained some weight.

Jun: (firmly pressing his forehead with a towel) I told you I can walk. You have a lot to deal with. Handle one thing at a time my dear son.

Xiaoyu: I think we're lost.

Jin: We're halfway there Xiaoyu.

Jun: Miss, there's a lake not to far from here. Can you fill this bucket up? (tosses it at her)

Xiaoyu: (catches it) Anything for my man and his family! (off she goes)

Jun: I don't like her. She's fast.

Jin: Mom, she's not fast. She's a delicate cute little girl that I will marry! So endure it.

Jun: Your life will hit the rocks son! She will rob you for all you have; then leave you low and dry.

Jin: She's not what you and my cuz think. Y'all just hatin'.

Jun: Excuse me? Little boy, my time with little younglings are over and done for. Been there, done that. I'm just looking out for your safety, I'm no "hater."

Jin: (pushes her hand away from his forehead) I'm fine.

Jun: Huh. Se we mad now? I'm not saying this to piss you off.  
Jin: ENOUGH!

Jun: Little boy, you better check that attitude buddy.

Jin: She's a good woman and we will fuck, 'fo these children.

Jun: (agitated) You both are too damn young can you not, comprehend that?!

Jin starts to make funky dance moves.

Jun: (glaring at him like he's crazy) _The fuck?! _You got ants in your pants?

Jin: I go HARD!

Jun: _Yeah I see. _Jin, sweetie, you're being a little, deranged.

Jin: About ta go, haywire on these mother fuckers. (prepares to do something that his father does all the time)

Jun: You, better not. You're my son and all, but your mental at the moment! CHILL THE HELL OUT!

Jin: (humps) THESE (humps) NUTS!

Jun: (didn't hesitate to punish his nuts with a lash of her belt) You're not a Mishima! You're a Kazama! ACT LIKE IT!  
Jin: (curls up in a ball weeping) UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! AHHHHUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! MAAAAAAAAAAH!

Jun: Shut up Jin! You pissed me off.

Jin: It hurts ma.

Jun: GOOD!

There's three ladies that wearing stuff that will claim them to be sluts.

Cammy's voice: Man every time I call Jin out, he runs off like a bat from hell.

Jin: (gets wary) Oh shit.

Jun: Did you cuss?!

Jin: Ma, ma please chillax.

Jun: I'm tired of this. You be you.

Poison's voice: He's cute just like his daddy.

Lili's voice: Girl I'm 'bout to catch a case!

Jun: Now I'm hearing things.

Cammy's voice: He know he want me. He's just a shrimp. (sees him and the three gets excited and goes towards him) Jin?! There he go!

Lili: Fine as hell!

Poison: Daddy's little boy, all grown up.

Jin: (runs the other way) OHHHHH FUCK NO!

Jun: Oh fuck no? I think you cussed enough dirt face! (sees these three "specially dressed" ladies running by her) You have to be kidding! JIN!

Jin: MA I DON'T KNOW THEM!

Jun: _I'm pretty sure Kazuya hooked him up with these trashy ho's. _Yeah baby run from those monsters!

Xiaoyu: (returns with an empty bucket) There was no lake Mrs. Jin.

Jun: Did you do a thorough search?

Xiaoyu: I walked the whole mountain and saw nothing.

Jun: Oh. Well I appreciate your help.

Xiaoyu: Where's my man?

Jin: (runs by them) HOLY SMOKES! HEEEEELP!

Xiaoyu: These tramps are after my man?! (trips Lili) Go find another! He's mine!

Lili: No bitch! (spits in her face) He's Cammy's man!

Jun: I know you just didn't do that nasty shit you Europeans be doing. (nabs her ear and drags her behind a bush) Let me show you what happens when you spit around this part of town.

Lili: OH NO PLEASE!

Xiaoyu: TEAR HER TALL, FAT NASTY ASS UP!

Bushes begins to rattle and screams screeches out of them.

Xiaoyu: That's my man's mother! PUT HER ASS ON CHECK!

Ogre's voice: MAAAAS, TAR! MAAAAAAS, TAR!

Jinpachi's voice: I know that's not my great son whoring around with these coarse whores.

Jun: _And shit gets worst. Like my dark self didn't give enough books to read._

Xiaoyu: Oh no! Those disastrous dictators are back!

Jinpachi's voice: I think it's time that all the Mishimas and Kazamas are put to good use. Time for them to get a taste of slavery.

Ogre's voice: Make statue, of us.

Jinpachi's voice: Yes indeed. Because we rule this world and should be praised for it!

Ogre's voice: Gold liberty in fame.

Xiaoyu: These self, centered, villains!

Jun: (pops out the bushes) Shush. We don't have time to deal with them. We need to get to this garden.

Jin's voice: MOM! LING! JUST GO TO THE GARDEN I GOT THIS!

Cammy's voice: Stop being a wuss and be mine!

Poison's voice: We can make a threesome!

Xiaoyu: We need to help our man miss.

Jun: Our man?

Xiaoyu: I mean, Jin.

Jin's voice: DAMN YOU DAAAAAAD!

I don't know how he track them, but Tetsujin taps Jun in the wrong spot and runs off victorious.

Jun: HEY! (hunts him down) You little prev, COME HERE!

Xiaoyu hides even deeper when the two evil potent being's attention being nabbed by Jun's rage.

Jinpachi: So, she's still feisty as fire from hell. She will be the one that really puts the pride in our statues.

Ogre: Her man, taste other lass. Don't care for her.

Jinpachi: I got something special for him and my son.

Xiaoyu: _Please go away._

Ogre: (sniffs her out) I sense a being among us.

Xiaoyu: _Jin, please come to my rescue._

Jinpachi: (sees parts of skin through little holes of the bush) Ah, the little shrimp. She's so weak. Only the strong survive. Ogre, you like sea food? She's all yours feast on.

Xiaoyu screams at the top of her lungs.

A rock flings off the back Jinpach's shining head.

Jinpachi: (rages behind him) YOU DARE?!

Jin: Umm, (points at Poison) she did it.

Poison: You want yours sucked too?

Jinpachi: Lets' dispose of these worthless beings!

Jin: OH SHIT!

Cammy: RUN JIN RUN!

Poison: OH HELL!

Ancient evil targets Jin and Kazuya's regulars. Xiaoyu was relieved, yet worried.

Jun: (returns, red all over) My son's special one, let's go.

Xiaoyu: I'm Xi-Xiaoyu. But my man.

Jun: What about him! He said he got this, and I trust him.

Xiaoyu: Those tyrants are on him as well.

Jun: Well ain't that some yippy shit!..No. My son's taking chaos away to buy us some time. We need to get to this damn garden, asap.

Meanwhile at the dark garden...

Dark Black Shadow: Humans...Why do these beings make self, rogue decisions? Knowing it will harm the world or their love ones.

Kazuya and his two new drunken companions, makes a rather stoned out intro.

Kazuya: (lead drunk) I, want, boo-tee.  
Ken &amp; Cody: (playing the role of backup singers) I, want, boo-teee.  
Kazuya: MEEEEE-HE, want, boooooo-teeeeeeee.  
Cody: I, want, zah, cash.  
Ken: Booooo-TEEEEEEEEEE!

Kazuya, Ken &amp; Cody: BOOOOO-TEEEEEE! BOOOOO-TEEEEEE! BOOOOO-TEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
Ken: BAAAAAAAAH-TEEEEEEEEE!

Cody: Yeah!

Dark Black Shadow: And the most arrogant being stands before me.

Kazuya: (don't know what he's talking to) I mean I like booty.

Ken: Boo, ho, teee.

Kazuya: All the girls got 'em.

Cody: Nice and round yo.

Ken: Big, juicy plumps.

Cody: And don't forget the front.

Ken: MILK!

Kazuya: Girls make a man's world go round!  
Ken &amp; Cody: Go round!

Dark Black Shadow: I think it's time death takes you from your pink misery. You're too blind to notice anything.

Bubbles starts to boil under the group of lily pads.

Anonymous: (pops out the bubbles with her captive) Got her. Now what.

Asuka: (can't believe what's before her) No. No. You're real. It's all true.

Dark Black Shadow: Yes my lass. And your death will bring an end to your wonderful world.

Asuka: Wh-WHAT?!

Dark Black Shadow: Don't allow anyone to interfere our fight.

Kazuya: (sees a familiar face despite being drunk) Asuka? NO! I don't want my daughter you sick ass raindow fuck! Raindix shit nut check ass bitch!

Ken: GIT 'EM! BUCK EM' OUT!  
Cody: UH, KILL 'EM! GO GET 'EM!

Asuka: Dad? What-how did you get here?

Kazuya: Asuka, I'm gonna getchu out this mess! I don't fuck children, I fuck grown women you sick bastard!

Asuka: You're still sick dad!

Anonymous: Hmm, we already intervened from whom to lease expect it from.

Kazuya: I don't play about my daughter bras! Y'all better let her ass go!

Ken: Yea! We want hot milfs!

Cody: And chicks that's not a demon! I like mine's fluffy with some weight.

Kazuya: My brethren, this shit just got personal. I got this! Meet me at the strip club in a week.

Ken: Hell no! That female demon will bite yo dick off!

Cody: Not until I see big, fluffy pillows!

Kazuya: LEAVE FUCKS! "NOW!"

Ken: (slowly going away) Damn bra keep those boxers on now!

Cody: (leaving as well, but slightly faster) I want a big prize for this! I will, expect a fat chick if you win this shit!

Kazuya: You will get all the shit you want jailbird, after y'all walk the fuck out!

Anonymous: (laughs under her breath) Smart move, slutty pimp.

Kazuya: You took my daughter from me you slimy shit! Release her now!

Dark Black Shadow: If she wins against me in Armageddon.

Kazuya: Armagize these nuts! Fight me pussy ass bitch!

Jin: (runs and trips) OH SHIT! DAD!

Kazuya: (helps his son up) Son?! What the fuck do I need to know?!

Jin: Dad, it's a long story, but I don't have time to explain.

Kazuya: I guess I will see my wife soon huh.

Jin: Yea pretty much everybody's in this shit.

Jinpachi: Worthless mortal!

Ogre: Time, to perish. And this time, you will die.

Kazuya: Really Jin. Really. You invited Hitler and his blowjobin' Nazi up in this bitch too?!

Jin: I did NOT, expect them to return so soon!

Asuka: _This is gonna be one hell of a day I won't forget. _JIN!

Jin: CUZ! CUZ I GOTCHU!

Anonymous: You pitiful fucks don't have what it takes to alter fate. It's already sealed. She will die, and y'all follow. Just sit that ass on down, and enjoy demise at it's best, from the best.

Dark Black Shadow: (starts making traditional movements) No one, shall intervene. (engulfs his hands and feet in purple flames after finishing his tradition) No one!

Jinpachi: (learns what's going on) Ah. The great awakening eh? Not on my watch.

Ogre: Only we, command fate around. Not you demon.

Anonymous: You two are a little too late. I have control, and I want this world, GONE! FOREVER IN HELL!

Ogre: We're see, Shrek's fairy godmother.

Jun: (gathers her breath after trekking) Gr-great. We have the united reunion. The two dictators, and (glares at her darkside) you.

Anonymous: Glad to see you're fine, human!

Jun: That will be the only time you'll darken my ass like that.

Anonymous: You're still pissed hmm? Well this time, I'll make sure you don't get up!

Kazuya: Bitch swerve!

Jun: Kaz I got her. You just handle those wanna be kings.

Jinpachi: Slut we are rulers! After this fight, you will all make golden statues of us.

Ogre: GOLD SHINE!

Jinpachi: And the whole damn world will know we run this!

Ogre: Tall n' all!

Jinpachi: Y'all gonna be slaves, forever!

Jun: Asuka sweetie, we gonna get out of this okay?

Asuka: Please get me outta here. I can't fight him.

Jin: Yur gonna have to give him yur all bra! We can't help ya cuz.

Asuka: He's too powerful! Look at him!

Dark Black Shadow: So, you own that book. You know what to do to prevail. The question is, do you all have the ability and courage to stop me and my summoner? Time to discover the answer now. (summons a large emerald cloud to make his fight hidden from the world)

Anonymous: (cracking and stretching out her fingers) And now, the final fight to death begins.

Jun: I can't believe you cursed our world for what? Dumb little shit?!

Anonymous: Think about the reason all you want. We all know the time is coming, why not rush it.

Jun: Evil shit don't last. The sun will shine, but according to you, you just want mankind dead.

Anonymous: YES! I'm tired of looking at you disguising snobby mortals! All you fucks, are corrupted! Mankind needs to exist no longer!

Jun: But what about those that are not huh?!

Anonymous: What about them! Even the good goes bad! Fuck those good people!

Jun: Then fuck you!

Anonymous: (bends low and concusses, unleashing dark aura in the process) You never understand where I come from, nor do you want to learn the truth!

Jun: Bitch what truth?! Besides being INSANE and MENTAL to the HEAD! You're evil, because you can. There's no reason to bring this shadow in to please your evil agenda. Yes us humans makes dumb ass mistakes, but time's flowing for the better. Just you wait and see.

Anonymous: (swiftly rises and lets out a monstrous roar; eyes are now glowing multiple colors and aura palls her in various beauty as well) I had enough of this trivial shit. Minutiae all you want. All I know is, I finally got what I want. You dead, and lost in darkness.

Jun: Hmm. So, you did all of this to jack me up huh. You so gonna die for this.

Anonymous: You, have everything! And I have shit! I want stuff too!

Jun: Then change!

Anonymous: HELL NO! Just so you can take it?! I rather see you dead and gone before I get the good life!

Jun: You're so jealous in heart, you can't see and think straight!

Anonymous: I'm not jealous of you. I just can't live no longer as your darkside, hidden away from the world!

Jun: And you think killing me is gonna make it better. You're hidden for a reason. You're evil for crying out loud!

Anonymous: SILENCE!

Jun: Bitch you shut the fuck up!

Jin: I heard that!

Jun: Son, focus on them I got this.

Anonymous: So you do. Do you see me now! Look at all of this power. You think you can still defeat me? Ha! Don't waste my time.

Jun: You're all rainbow, so what. That don't mean nothing. You're suppose to intimidate me with this? Heh, bitch please. You want my man, you can have him.

Anonymous: I DON'T WANT HIM!

Jun: Then WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!

Anonymous: YOUR ASS GONE BITCH! DEAD! THAT WILL MAKE MY WORLD GO ROUND FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Jun: So all of this is really to take my life eh? Over my dead body.

Anonymous: Something I expected from you to say. You and your daughter will be in the same grave, mother and daughter, together.

Jun: You're a menace to my family and the world! People like you, are beyond condolences; beyond saving! The only thing left for you kind of demons, is death. And I will bring him to you!

Anonymous: After you pork-chop. I'm eternal, Death serves me and him now! I'm a goddess! I never die.

Jun: You are crazy indeed. You're not even listening to me and you sound lost right about now.

Her evilside laughs hysterically.

Jun: At least I'm no yandere. You look like a cold blooded murder.

Anonymous: And you don't?! I'm your SPITTING image of you, you albino pig.

Jun: Like I would do everything for him. Yet, (glances with concern at him) I still have feelings for him.

Anonymous: But the son, Jin. You will kill for him.

Jun: Ya damn right I will! And for my daughter! A mother don't play when it comes to her children!

Anonymous: Well get to killing. Because your daughter's death is all he needs for your end!

Jun: I'm through talking to you. We yelled at each other long enough!

Anonymous: For two hours yes! You know us women can talk a dog to sleep, and a badass child to behave.

Jun: Well what you did to my daughter, was not cool. You can kick my ass all day, but bringing my daughter here to die by this impossible being, really sealed your fate. You will die, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Anonymous: You're so, damn, matarded! I'm all powerful! My potential has been unleashed! My fate is really yours fool!

Jun: Bitch don't you alter fate like that!  
Anonymous: Bitch I know you not getting red on me! Do you know who you're getting smart with!

They initiate an intense flaming argument.

On the other hand during the ladies heat, the tag-team match had a thing of it's own.

Jin: Man dad, these wanna be Communist don't know us.

Kazuya: Sho' don't son!

Jinpachi: Fool! We are the greatest duo the world fears!

Ogre: Dumb fools.

Kazuya: Shinin' fortune ball, we, are the Tekken tag champions the world can't beat!

Jin: Unbeatable!

Kazuya &amp; Jin: Unstoppable!

Ogre: (yawns) Amusing.

Jinpachi: Y'all a joke. We have abilities you weaklings will never obtain.

Jin: And you know what we got that y'all don't! DINE ON THESE NUTS!  
Kazuya: EAT THESE NUTS!

Ogre: Always want sex.

Kazuya: At least we get some.

Jin: Well dad hogs 'em up, but I got a special waitin' on me after we murder y'all trashy porn star asses!

Kazuya: Be "fishtellin' out the parkin' lot, leavin' magic."

Jin: THEME SONG BITCHES!

Kazuya: "Two bad bitches and I got 'em out of magic! The way I made the work, disappear, call it magic."  
Jin: We magicians mother fuckers! Disappear, MAGIC!

Kazuya &amp; Jin: "The way I made the work, disappear, call it magic. Fishtellin' out the parkin' lot, leaving magic. Sippin' on the purple and the yellow drinkin' magic!"

Thee tyrants had this intense "you're crazy" looks on their visages.

Kazuya: My son got a message TELL 'EM!

Jin: "Excuse me but my lingo crazy, see these diamonds ain't none of 'em fugazi, two bad bitches wanna fuck me the greatest! AMG in a brand new Mercedes. Turn out the lot I'mma do an 180 for the haters I'mma go ahead do a 360. (does a circle) Drinking on a Sprite got Lean all in it, I'm an astronaut Hitler better church my pimping!"  
Kazuya: Crazy! Fugazi! Fuck us high! Got that Mercedes! Do that Xbox son! OHHHHHHH! Drinkin' on a sprite that got LEAN fuckers! Go to CHURCH and cleanse yo sins!

Ogre: (don't know what just happened) What, was all of that?

Jinpachi: Y'all not from the ghetto! Japan is not, AFRICA OR UNITED STATES!

Jin: Might as well!

Kazuya: Our shit's havin' a diversity as well!

Ogre: (sings out of nowhere) "We don't need another HEEEEEEEEERO!"

Now the Kazamas returns the same lost visages.

Kazuya &amp; Jin: What, was, that?

Jin: That's yo dog pops put a leash on yo puppy.

Kazuya: And stay away from yo crack master's crotch.

Jinpachi: You Kazamas are too much. Always acting like fools. The only reason I can conclude why you people exists, is to be our slaves for the rest of time!

Kazuya: Flintstone lookin' ass bitch! Make yo own got-damn statue!

Jin: You ol' like to fuck Scobby Doo lookin' ass bitch!

Kazuya: You ol' Mike tyson with sidetache lookin' ass mother fucker!

Jin: Sonic's annoyin' egghead faggot humpty dumpty looking ass fuck!

Kazuya: (gets on Ogre) Made from Shrek's ass lookin' ass mother fucker!

Jin: (still on Jinpachi) Like to eat chitterlings in burnt biscuits lookin' ass mother fucker.

Jinpachi gradually turns red.

Kazuya: Fiona juice orgasm produced lookin' ass bitch!

Jin: Like to put yo cucumbers on circuits lookin' ass mother fucker! Hope you get a shock treatment for bein' a slow ass!

Kazuya: You ol' green eggs and ham lookin' ass bitch!

Jin: Stank, pussy ass, FUCKS!

Jinpachi: (makes the Earth shake) ENOUGH!

Kazuya: We mad? Pops sit yo old ass down somewhere!

Jinpachi: Time to end this. Ogre, let's rid these riff-raff of their miserable personality.

Ogre: They all talk anyway.

Jin: All talk? Dad, they startin' to talk shit now.

Kazuya: Fun time's over son. Shit just hit the fan. You take Shrek, and I got wanna be Broly.

The grand battles explodes.

Anonymous: I think it's time we fight with them.

Jun: You made all of this chaos! You put my child in that cloud!

Anonymous: You had a role in this as well. So calm the fuck down.

Jun: Swerve off my ass! This is all you, you piece of shit!

Anonymous: YOU THE DICK WITHOUT A BODY!

Jun: BITCH!

The fight of fate finally begins.

Inside this green cloud lays a completely different world. The only thing it contains are clouds, which are dark and stormy; red stars on a dark night; and a fire moon that's hotter than the sun.

Asuka: (observing the new world) And it's black. Great, I won't see him.

Dark Black Shadow: (appears with glowing purple eyes and burning hands and feet of the same color; cape's no where to be seen) So you say. Keep your eyes on all that's purple.

Asuka: When we gonna chaaaaaaaan-change!

Dark Black Shadow: As time goes by. Long progress. But that purple broad can't wait to end you all; well, this one being. You're mankind's only hope. (purple flames roars and red aura coats the rest) Now, you can see me utterly. Give it your all. Don't hold, back.

Asuka: (focusing on the red and purple aura) What's with all of these fires? Are you burnin'?

Dark Black Shadow: It's aura. An instinctive light that glows and surrounds a person that's all potent. It exists around those that are all powerful, and to intimidate and warn off any enemy that's a threat. Your mother fears nothing. And you should do the same.

Asuka: Why me?! What did I do I'm just a KID!

Dark Black Shadow: You're pure. The devil gene that flows within your generation, which you're the only being free of. Every world that summons me for demise, has a source. Without that source, I'm just a waste of a wish.

Asuka: Let me guess, I'm the got-damn source?!

Dark Black Shadow: Pretty impressive for a dropout. And with you defeated, I have obtain the pure source I need for her wish to come true. Death will take all! And I, back to slumber.

Asuka: You're toyin' with me. And that's not cool!

Dark Black shadow: Am I?

Asuka: You're all mighty. You're immortal! A fuckin' god! You can take licks!

Dark Black Shadow: You don't know that lass. You might be lucky.

Asuka: Lucky my ass. You're fuckin' with me STOP IT!

Dark Black Shadow: You have to face me in combat if you want that annoying fly to stop buzzing around you.

Asuka: Shit can't seem to stop comin' around. Every damn corner you turn after cleanin' it the fuck up, you have more and it seems to get bigger and decay all of yo nose hairs!

Dark Black Shadow: That's life. It never takes a break for nothing. But then maybe you request to deal with it.

Asuka: Man get off of these tits! I just recently rejected a date! Then I got you. But before all this, we had to move out, because shit conquered the fan there! Then this vampire comes and attacks, with the benefit of this fast little bitch that want's to trash my cuz's life with a fuckin' family! SHIT AFTER SHIT! ALL THAT WENT DOWN LESS THAN A WEEK!

Dark Black Shadow: Well use this perspective, I'm your last pile of waste to clean. And if more comes, nothing will be no worst than this event.

Asuka: See I need a drank. I want a can of sprite. Make sure it got lean all in it.

Dark Black Shadow: Maybe after you win.

Asuka: See this the kind of shit–I CAN'T WHUP YO ASS!  
Dark Black Shadow: YOU'RE TOO BUSY WHINING! Maybe you're not the mortal after all. I'm seeking a being that will be of decency. A being that's capable of stopping me instead of the one that summons me. I can go back to my realm for a whiner. Well then you're a woman. Emotions are y'alls worst enemy.

Asuka: Faggot I got yo emotions!

Dark Black Shadow: Then show me through actions and not through mouth. Show me everything your lovely family taught you. Show me you're the human that will save this world. Show me your (flames and aura roars with him) HISTORY!

Asuka can't hole her tears back no longer and a memory rains out her eyes.

_\- Flashback II -_

_It was midnight and everyone's calling it a day. She as usual, sleeps on her cousin to hear his heart beat._

_Asuka: Jin?_

_Jin: Yea cuz I'm here. (in a wavy voice) CHAAAAAAAANNNNN, CHANGE!_

_She lifts her head up and awkwardly stares at him._

_Asuka: No, yur not._

_Jin: (don't know why she's looking at him like that) What? (goes back to his zone) "Livin' under the field, 'till nuthin' else re-MAAAAAN-HAN!" We all need a CHAINNNNNNN-CHAIN!_

_Jun: (peaks her head giving him an awkward stare as well) Jin, what's with all of this nonsense? It's late for all this now._

_Jin: "No, more, drama!" NO MORRRRE, DRAMA!_

_Jun: JIN!_

_Jin: CHAAAAANNNNN, CHANGE!_

_Kazuya's voice: THAT'S MY BOY!_

_Jun: You took my son out?! With you?!_

_Kazuya's voice: Girl, we didn't do the nasty with no one!_

_Jin: This cutie swooped in and, (lifts the blankets using his lover organs) CHAAAANNNNNN, CHANGE!_

_Asuka: (pounds his nuts in) CUZ STOP THIS FREAKY SHIT!_

_Jun: LIER!_

_Kazuya's voice: I AIN'T NO LIE! We just spent hours in a club and didn't fuck no bitch!_

_Jun: CLUB?! A damn, CLUB?!_

_Kazuya's voice: All the chicks did, was offered us drunks._

_Jin: Nah we went to the VIP room, and got the VI treatment!_

_Jun: (slams the door) You, fucking BASTARD! My son will not be your whoring partner and crime!_

_Kazuya's voice: OH SHIT! PLEASE BUT THAT SWITCH UP! AHHHHHHHH! OW- AHHHHH- NAAAAAAAH!_

_Asuka: I'm gonna take you in for a HIV test._

_Jin: I don't got nuthin' cuz._

_Asuka: The ho's he fucks with?! They all got some sort of "infection!"_

_Jin: Them bitches are closed. Now we can't sleep with dad's weepin' for joy._

_Asuka: You lit the candle cuz. You lit the fuckin' candle._

\- Now -

Asuka: _Why did that come up? I don't see nothin' special from that. Well time to die. _Okay black flamin' jack face, (assumes her fighting stance) bring it.

Dark Black Shadow: (slowly assumes his ultimate style, making red, black, and purple orbit around him) Now, it's time to see if you can beat me. Be the adversary that exceeds me. Give me some sort of, entertainment. (beckons her) Come, my lass. Show me (flames roars out of him) anger!

Asuka: I'm gonna put a cut in yo place! (makes the first attack and gets a punishing back hand for it)

Dark Black Shadow: Don't be predictable. Hide your emotions. I will harm, according to empty foolishness. Please strategize your moves.

Asuka: I know how to kick ass. I do that for a living! (goes at him and again, takes a mighty blow to the head)_Got-damn, how do he know my shit?_

Dark Black Shadow: So you do, But I'm no ordinary man. I'm a god, that's more of a genie. Put your brain in use. It's up there for a reason. You're currently brainless.

Asuka: Fuck face did you roast just then?! Was that a fuckin' ROAST?!

Dark Black Shadow: I speak the truth. And if that results a "diss," then yes, I'm roasting. You're bringing disappoint to the world and me with all of this rubbish. Now FOCUS!

Asuka: (spits blood out her mouth) Well can you help me up at least?

Meanwhile outside the illusional place, Jin and Kazuya was maintaining the tyrants while Jun and her darkself was equal and freaking masters.

Jin: (launches Ogre to the air with a quick uppercut) Dad! NOW!

Dad flies in and rotates his abdomen organs with the finishing flying kick.

Ogre: (defeated and crying) KIDNEYS! MY KIDNEYS!

Jinpachi: You both will regret that!

Kazuya: Old jack, do you know who we is?

Jin: We the fuckin' Kazamas, bitch!

Kazuya: The last generation that run the fightin' industry!

Jin: And we "livin' under the field, 'till nothin' else remains!  
Kazuya: (harmonize with his son) "Under the field, 'till nothin' else remains!"

Jun: (struggling to push Anonymous ominous hand away from her face) The two heartbeats, can you stop singing for a damn moment?!

Anonymous: Your end, awaits; my prosperous future shines like, NOW!

Jun chops her neck, thus frees herself from near death.

Anonymous: (moves back) UHHACK! (clears her throat, then spits out this really thick golden mucus) Hmm, you just cleaned my throat. How thoughtful.

Jun: Fuck your health! Fuck your existence!

Anonymous: No really. I had that damn frog in my throat since you was born. And now, (laughs evilly) I'm even more powerful. (entire body falls to royal purple within the burn of the rainbow) Now, witness my true wrath!

Eliza: (walks by and stops after seeing beings at war) I could use a drink.

Jin: (sees her by the side of his eye) Oh fuck. It's that damn vampire.

Eliza: Hey naps. Your little girlfriend, took a hard ass beatin'. And you know why, she refused to give me a drink!

Jin: How dare you get on my girl you pale as snow mountain bitch!

Kazuya: Who are you?

Jinpachi: You.

Eliza: You're back, How awesome. I want my money.

Jinpachi: You're were told to never leave the mansion!

Eliza: Well "boss," I like to drink! And your fancy ass fridge lacked the shit that can hold me tight!

Kazuya: Lady, we're busy. So go back in the woods and resume your masturbation.

Eliza: You're the fuck that sent that purple guy to rape me!

Kazuya: LIES AND FABRICATIONS!

Jin: What purple dude dad?

Jun: (stops her fight) Oh hell no! (gets in their business) Now hold the hell up!

Anonymous: Ignore them. You have no right to put this aside and handle such trashy worthless, drama.

Jun: Bitch, our private shit can wait. This shit with my man, is the last draw!

Kazuya: Jun, please hear me out.

Jun: SILENCE!

Anonymous: You dare make such a rogue, selfish decision?

Jun: Unknown, please okay?!

Eliza: So, this is your wife. Pretty.

Jun: I have plenty cans of whup ass! Come on in and get it while it's hot!

Eliza: I'll pass.

Jun: Nah bitch, step into the light! Come on and step into the "damn" light!

Eliza: I SAID I'LL PASS!

Anonymous: BEGONE YOU WORTHLESS, PATHETIC VAMPIRE!

Eliza: Come and say that to my face sir-drink-a-lot.

Jin: Where's my girl?!

Eliza: She's dead. I sucked her dry. (grabs her red milk) Can't you see these erected tits?

Kazuya: (eyes go giant) GOOD NIGHT!

Jun: KAZUYA! (concerned about Jin now that's he's really on fire) Jin.

Jin: (so infuriated he can't see straight) You, you killed my girl!

Eliza: Yes I did and her blood, was sweet.

Kazuya: (holding back his roaring son) I'm sure it was! Good night you're grown.

Eliza: I can fuck once a day.

Kazuya: Lady, you can take my blood any day.

Jun: What kind of shit must happen for you to change?!

Kazuya: Nothin'. "Once a dog, always a dog. You can't change no ho into a housewife."

Jun: Why did I make a dumb ass decision to marry you? It took me this long to know you're never going to change.

Kazuya: I mean I thought you knew.

Jun: What? Am I suppose to read your mind from the start?!

Jin: (wildly fights to break free) YOU KILLED MY BABY! YOU KILLED MY WIFE!

Kazuya: (taming the beast) Chill on down son chill on.

Eliza: I saved your life dumbass. Before I took her flesh, she told me everything that involves ruing your slow life! You're slow!

Jin: YO FUCKIN' MOTHER!

Eliza: CAN I FINISH?! RUDE!

Jin: YO WHOLE FAMILY!

Kazuya: ROAST ON THIS BITCH SON!

Jinpachi let's the gene take over; his stomach is merely a vicious mouth full of deadly teeth.

Jinpachi: I think you fools had enough fun.

Eliza: Let me talk to them damn! Yeah your bitch? Told me everything. She wanted to fuck, well rape, you to trap your dumbass and take you for all you got! Leave you broke and weak! She had um...well...she just had a damn sexual transmitted disease and want to spread the word in you. Then she said she'll murder your cousin in her sleep; she loved her some Freddy Kruger, and you like that; something's wrong with you boy.

Jin: LIES AND SPOILED TITTIES! GET OFF THAT GAME CUBE BITCH!

Jun: SON PLEASE STOP THAT DIRTY SHIT OKAY?!

Jin: It's a LIE MOM!

Eliza: Shoot yourself.

Jin: These nuts!

Jun: I don't know son. She was with me the whole time. She did said something came up and went the other way.

Jin: Mom stop aidin' this bitch man!

Jun: IT'S THE DAMN TRUTH!

Eliza: ENDURE THE PAIN!

Kazuya: I got plenty of that girl; c'mon and heal me.

Anonymous: (impatient) Well Jun, You're done playing in this crap? Can we handle our matters now?

Jun: Bitch, go make a dildo out of a twig. You can wait.

Anonymous: Well I guess I can. Knowing your daughter don't stand a chance against him.

Jun: (calmly) Don't, talk.

Anonymous: Waste as much time as you want. Family is important. As if.

Kazuya: Bitch I gotcho family tables now!

Jin: Dad I'm calm bra.

Kazuya: Ya sure?

Jin: (shoves him off) GET THE FUCK OFF!  
Kazuya: OKAY DAMN!

Eliza: Still wanna kick my ass?

Jin: Want a drink? (snatches a flat metal bottle and throws it at her) There's yo drink now LEAVE MY SIGHT!

Eliza: (catches it) Hmm, a fine little bottle we have here.

Kazuya: What? (checks his pockets and notices his hidden drink is missing) SON! YO! THAT'S MY PERSONAL DRINK! My emergency shit yo!

Jinpachi: Now little one, show me your fermentation.

Kazuya: This faggot right here. Son, I got him! You handle the lady.

Jin: She's not worth my time. This, mother fucker is more on my "to dispose of" list.

Jinpachi: You both messed with the wrong one! Then you had the audacity to perish my long time prince. He was gonna be my heir, the continuation of the great rule. But you wimps, spoiled it all!

Eliza: (takes a quick sallow and receives wide eyes) Man, this some gooooood, shit!

Kazuya: Man that's that rare shit she's on. Man it's hard as hell to come around "Dark Yoshi."

Eliza: I think I found my new car.

Jin unexpectedly starts to dance. Music comes to his ears; great. Like it's the right time to act a fool.

Kazuya: Son, what's goin' on man?

Jin keep on doing his thing.

Eliza: (gawks at him, then at the bottle) I drink way too much. But the shit's good! (guzzles it down)

Jun: (gives her son the same awkward stare she did a few years back) Okay, time to get back to fighting.

Anonymous: Ah, so, you're finally ready now?

Jun: Bitch you're deaf?!

Anonymous: Well elaborate clearly! Get your man's dick out your mouth!

That insult instantly begins round two of their brawl.

Jin's dance leads to him beginning the "Electric Slide."

Kazuya: Damn son. And I thought I was off. Well you know where you got that from. JUN!

Jun: (countering a harsh fist) Excuse me wanna be James Brown?!

Anonymous: (feels her wounded lip) Hmm. A minor leak.

Jun: Bitch I'm just getting warmed up.

The drunk vampire starts to look at the dancer, and doubts herself.

Eliza: _No! NO! He's not all of that-but look at that body He's built and work-WHAT THE FUCK!_ (hurls the empty metal) I need more drink!

Jin: (sings in his dance) Suuuck, on your tits, girl. Suck on yo big tits, ladaaaaaa'e.

Kazuya: No! (sings back) Get on yo momaaaaaaaaaah!

Jinpachi: ENOUGH! (charges at him)

Kazuya: Yeah baby c'mon and bring it!

They clash it down.

Eliza: (interest getting worst) YOU'RE POISON! I DON'T DO HUMANS!

Jin: Ohhhhhh, HAAAAAAAH, HAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Eliza: A man that can dance and make shit up turns me wild! So stop that shit now!

Jin: Uh baby, come and, (humps at her) make me.

Eliza: You're fucking my high up! You're a sober hero not fucking cool!

Jin: Come, baaabe. Co-hmm-hmm baaaabe. Cooome, babe and teach me new shit. Uuuuuuuuuh. Come, baaabe. Co-hmm-hmm baaaabe. Cooome, babe and teach me new shit. Yeah haaah!

Eliza: _I should've saw this shit coming! I felt this annoying feeling the first time I say this Goku nappy fuck! Well since I'm thinking about it, where's his bitch ass cousin!_

Asuka was having a hell of a time trying to best the dark god.

Asuka: You pedophile!

Dark Black Shadow: You're a waste. This bout is useless. Time to destroy this world.

_Jun's voice: You're giving up?!_

_Jin's voice: Kick his ass cuz! You tellin' this dude you a punk!_

Asuka: _Where are you people!_

_Jin's voice: In yo head woman!_

_Jun's voice: We doing all we can outside this dystopia. Where's my feisty and determined daughter that can handle even the impossible?! Where is she?!_

_Jin's voice: You got the main shit! Cook som' beef! Turn up, and tear his ass up!_

Asuka: _Jin, I can't do that._

_Jin's voice: Bra you want this man to upgrade?! He's already runnin' yo ass over in a truck. You want his ass in a giga monster truck?!_

Asuka: _He knows everything I throw at him! It's pointless._

_Jin's voice: These nuts are pointless. _

_Jun's voice: Make the fucker eat his own legs!_

_Jin's voice: Put out his own flame! Get duh damn rifle and shoot the mother fucker! Hold that som' bitch side ways, and shove it straight up, his candy ass!_

Asuka: _I don't have a gun._

_Jin's voice: Then roast on the bitch. Piss his ass off! Make, his ass blind! Or how about you give him a good strollin' time. Cut his nuts off and shove it up his ass! Make him fuck himself!_

_Jun's Voice: Na, nasty Jin._

Asuka: JIN SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Dark Black Shadow: Back in reality I see. Want to get serious now?

Asuka: Buy some fruit and nuts. And deliver those bitches to yo grave.

Dark Black Shadow: Well, you're more on the opposite path. No thanks little lass.

Asuka: I'm not a boy!

Dark Black Shadow: Well wear some women attires. I can't tell in that uniform.

Asuka: _Awe, shit! Nothin's workin'!_

_Jin's voice: You suck at roastin'!_

_Jun's voice: Grab his dick and squeeze the sperm out of it!_

Asuka: _Ahh, no._

_Jin's voice: Who's nasty now ma? Man get yo spinach girl. Go Popeye on this bitch!_

Asuka: WHO YOU LOOKIN' AT?!

Dark Black Shadow: I see you're taking my advice. Yes, plan out your attacks, and dive for it.

Asuka: Dive on these tits!

_Jin's voice: And turn up on these nuts!_

_Jun's voice: Prove to him a Kazama can handle anything!_

Kazuya was being dominated by Jinpachi.

Kazuya: (being dragged by the head) No. No you gay. Hitler "D-Day" chocolate factory mother fucker.

Jinpachi: (swings him around twice, then bashes his head in the water) You always been the master of talking rubbish.

Jin: (still dancing and away from reality) I waaaant, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Eliza: I could really use a drink! (gets hit in the head with a glass bottle) OWRA! Could've at least said "heads up!"

Jin: (hugs the emerald cloud) I miiiss, uuuuuuuuuuuu! I neeeeed, uuuuuuuuuu! It's all about, (hits his knees and sings out you, then holds it out for a very long time, changing keys in the process.)

Jun: (can't concentrate) DAMN JIN! A good day right?

Anonymous: (can't fight well with noise neither) END YOUR MISERABLE PERFORMANCE!

Kazuya: (rolls around in agony) Awwwe, shit. Yea boy turn that shit up! Gold gangsta son!

Jinpachi: (ears starting to turn red) AHHHHHHHHH! (slams his face in the water)

Eliza: (drinks it whole in one round, trying to fight off this "development" she's having for him) _Man this dude. This dude really tingling with me! I need more!_

Anonymous: End him!

Eliza: You do that all mighty!

Anonymous: Bitch, I'm, busy. And you killing your cells with all of this alcohol.

Eliza: I'm eternal.

Anonymous: PAH! Please don't joke with that word.

Eliza: Laugh all you want! It's real!

Jun: SHUT HIS ASS UP!

Eliza: You be a mother and do that!

Jun: Bitch! Don't open another can of whup ass!

Eliza: You selfish bitches. FINE! Shit! (can't even move) Well, I'm numb all over.

Anonymous: (blasts her to him) Eternal? Maybe you are, but your body's not! (back on her worst enemy) Now, you.

Jun: Hell I could use a drink.

Anonymous: Breast feed yourself.

Jun: Bitch take a REAL bath! Get a taste of "clean" water.

Anonymous: I'm not going this fucking route with you!

Jun: Lucky Charms eating rainbow marshmallows looking ass mother fucker.

Kazuya: YEA GIRL I HEARD ALL THAT TURN UP!

Jin still holds out "you."

Eliza: (harshly lands and rolls to him after impact) Fucking nude! You're probably a noob on those PC games bitch! Goku, Please shut the hell up.

Asuka's voice: Jin? You're loud as hell, and long with it. Please I'm tryin' to beat this dude.

Eliza: She's fine. Now shut the fuck up and get a drink.

Jin: Please, come ouuuuuuuut-haaaaaa-ha-haaaaa-uuuuoout!

Asuka's voice: I can't! I'm stuck here! What the fuck is out there like, yur real happy.

Jin: My girl lied to me, then she died in front of my face!

Eliza: You made that end part up.

Asuka's voice: How unfortunate, but yur find another that's real, and not about evil shit okay cuz?

Jin: She's by me.

Eliza: No. No you're a stranger and forever will be!

Asuka's voice: Damn man already?! Can you take a break first?!

Jin: I'm sure about this one.

Eliza: Don't be stupid!

Asuka's voice: Yur sure? Jin c'mon! Them bitches are fast and trouble!

Eliza: There you go Goku. I'm fast, plus I'm a vampire on top of that.

Jin: Well yur my vampire now. (scoops her up)

Eliza: I know you just didn't getcho hands! I don't want no family!

Jin: We don't have to make one.

Eliza: Like you getting too damn close! Taking advantage of a paralyzed woman! You in danger fuck face. Fix your naps! When I heal the hell up, I'm gonna suck-(a kiss interrupts her, and it knocks her out)

Jin: Works every time.

Asuka's voice: Yur calm now? I'm pretty sure you put all the fights on pause.

Jin: Yea, I did.

Asuka's voice: I'm fine Jin. How sweet; had enough care in the world to check up on me.

Jin: I mean yur my all time life cuz.

Jun: (tears flows down her face and she didn't notice them) My son. I'm proud.

Anonymous: Well he's finally a mute. Now, time for your death Jun.

Jun: Hold on, let me cherish this moment.

Anonymous: *sigh* Very fucking well.

Kazuya: Man you two are gonna piss couples off! I mean y'alls stuff is a damn lot better than these marriages! Y'all gonna make some beef with all that now. I mean you're pissin' me off!

Jun: You shouldn't be pissed! You should be proud and thankful like I am.

Kazuya: I mean all we did was bitch and fight. These two got love like got-damn!

Jun: That's life Kazuya.

Anonymous: Which will soon cease.

Jinpachi comes back up, grasping for air. In that very moment, Kazuya lights his ass up!

Kazuya: (in his combo) What's up bra! What's up! Get all of this! Get, all, this!

Asuka's voice: Well, if only there's a man out there with your personality. You made my last day.

Jin: You'll be lucky.

Asuka's voice: Well you handle yo shit out there. I got this shadow freak.

Jin: Well we almost cleaned the shit. All we got, is the purple bitch that want's to be with Prince. "Purple rain, purple rain!"

Anonymous: Funny.

Eliza moans and shakes.

Jin: Oh shit.

Asuka's voice: What?

Jin: My girl's havin' a nightmare.

Eliza: N-nooo! N-n-no! Goku, shit, Goku! Please. (pops up and tightly wraps around his neck) Oh shit. I hope that nightmare don't come by no time soon. (lays her head on him and breaths in relief)

Jin: (messages her head) There we go. Goku's here all day, er'yday.

Eliza: (noticing what's she doing) No. You can't replace him. He's long gone you can't dammit! You're not him!

Jin: Damn girl chill! Who is this dude?

Eliza: Your mother! Your fucking mother!

Jin: (shakes her) TELL ME! You really have to stop all this drinkin'!

Eliza: Okay okay! Damn! I never drank in my life until it happened.

Jin: See you not makin' sense.

Eliza: You wanna know or not?! Looking like Gohan with that head.

Kazuya: (turns towards Jun's party and gets in his zone after defeating Jinpachi) Girl I wantchu to, know thaaaaaat.

Jun: Kaz, please okay?

Kazuya: I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-HO-O-HOOOOOOO-UUUUUUUUH! (says other things ending with the same, long, drawn out "you" with the benefit of Wednesday fever)

And again, everyone stops to blankly glare at the performer like he's mental.

Asuka's voice: Jin again?! Damn man I need to be out there to see what's goin' down!

Jin: (giving insane stares at his dad) It's not me cuz.

Eliza: What is wrong with you people.

Jun: Okay I hear you.

Kazuya: We met at HOOOO-TERRRRRRRS AH HO-O-HOOOOOOO-UUUUUUUUH! At Ho, ho, HOOOOOO-TERRRRS-ER-ER-HERRRRRR-TERRRRRRS! (now he's on the hooter screech)

Eliza: Like father, like son. (gets her button pressed) You spent, too much time with your father! You freak! Gonna press my naval like it's a damn-No! You're so not like him.

Jin: Who is this, dude bra?!

Eliza: NO! Fuck you and your freaky ways.

Jin: I like belly buttons man like.

Eliza: You're sick!

Jin: I mean it feels good for both parties.

Eliza: Like hell. Maybe for your weird ass.

Anonymous: And this is your family. Retarded to the head and pitiful to look at.

Jun: At least I have one. My kids turned out great okay?!

Eliza: See my recent man wasn't no freak! He was a common folk that's all about bringing home the bacon. Fine to look at, I mean (weakly fans herself) wroo. Had that chest, kinda like yours.

Jin: I bring bacon too like that house!

Eliza: You stole the shit!

Jin: I forced brought the shit!

Eliza: That's still stealing!

Jin: I mean they dead now. Shrek and Eggman Nega got their ass handled. They done, and that leaves me to claim their house as my own.

Eliza: I been in that house since it was made. That's a long ass time! I'm the true owner of that shit! And you and your bitches gonna come up (mouth takes a smack) What was that for?!

Jin: You don't cuss around me; especially sayin' bitches.

Eliza: Then who are they huh? Your challenged porn riders?

Jin: You don't know shit and don't need to.

Eliza: (lubriciously) Oh. So you want to know my previous guy and I can't get no piece of your pie? Then this spark that's "within," just died!

Jin: You gonna have to find another crib, because that's mine.

Eliza: Over my eternal body! Just wait until I'm numb no more! You will enjoy every devastation I deliver.

Jin: Devastate these nuts! You're rival material now. (drops her)

Eliza: (blows water out her nose) I'm all about blood! There's no rivalry between us you little queer!

Jin: You won't be even close to sinkin' yo rotten teeth on (grabs his special balls) these. (taunts her) Not, gonna, get 'em! Then I got my cuz! No game bitch!

Eliza: I can take you both on any day! (taunts him back with her special jugs) Both of y'alls blood will grow these!

Kazuya: "Meet chu all the way! Rosanna yeah!"  
Jin: (joins his crazy father) DRY BONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNES!

Eliza: You're in a lot of pain fuck face!

Kazuya &amp; Jin: (doing "Bankhead Bounce" in slow motion) All ya got, ta, do! All ya got, ta, do! (the head of the group starts to butcher out during the constant phase)

The tables turned in the dark god's world. Due to all of these distractions, Asuka was getting the best of him.

Dark Black Shadow: (screams from a sharp strike to his shin) Damn! Go silence these annoying debris! Trash is everywhere and I can't concentrate with all of this GARBAGE!

Asuka: Well I can't! I'm freakin' stuck! Remember?!

Next thing you know, she's in Fallen Garden with a blink of an eye.

_Dark Black Shadow's voice: Silence this mess!_

Asuka looks around and sees Eliza weak as ever.

Asuka: (accost her) You bitch! Came here to play huh?!

Eliza: (turns) Huh? (gets scared from this aggressor) Oh shit! GOKU! GOHAN! VEGETA! OH SHIT THE CAT CAME OUT TO SCRATCH! (gets yanked about by her horn) OWWWWWW! OWWWWWWWW! AHHHHHH PLEASE!  
Asuka: (drags her like a worthless rag doll) Where's my cuz!? WHERE IS HE!

Jin: Yur fuckin' my vive up SHUT UP!

Kazuya: Stop being selfish! I need the center too YOU SHUT UP!

Asuka: (distracted from their argument) Huh? (releases her, sees him and launches to him) JIN! CUZ!

Eliza: (receiving an aching headache) This day can't get no better. Ow, fuck. Where she come from? Damn!

Jin: Hmm? (gets exultant when he sees her as well) HOLY SMURFS FROM CHINA!

Jun: (can't believe her eyes) _A-Asuka? Y-you did it._

Kazuya: Man turn this shit up! Our daughter saved the world yo!

Jin: SMURF!

Anonymous: (in despair) I-impossible. How did you...

Asuka: I chomped on his dick and fed him his beans!

Jin &amp; Kazuya: GOAAAAAAAL!

Asuka: Now, what's goin' on out here that sets you off cuz?

Jin: Bra, you should've saw me and pops here. Well you look it.

Kazuya: I'm not old yet son. Son you tryin' me life?!

Jin: You see Hitler and his D-Day creation? (presents her them out cold and shoved in the dark waters) We tore that ass up!  
Kazuya: UP! YEP!

Jin: We turnt, UP on these mother fuckers!

Kazuya: Now we're celebratin! And you're out here too?!

Jin: Radio on deck man!

Asuka: Well...

Jin: (interrupts and wraps her in) Nah don't say nuthin'!

Jun: (walks to her and takes her hand) You did the impossible. (joins in and hugs them two)

Asuka: E-everyone made it out!

Anonymous: I'm done. I underestimated you humans.

Asuka: (goes feral) LET ME AT HER!

Jin: NAH CUZ NAH! She's shit now! She ain't worth our time.

Asuka: Her evil ass need to GO!

Jun: Yeah bitch go hang yourself!

They all slowly gang up on her.

Anonymous: (slowly walking back) It's all a mistake. This was all just a test.

Jin &amp; Kazuya: Test these nuts!  
Asuka: These tits!

This colorful skull falls from the dark heavens and hits Unknown in the head. Everybody looks at it.

Jin: Pretty cool.

Kazuya: Look like a fortune bra.

Jin: Nah dad that's goin' in my collection.

Kazuya: No son! We all need a little more cash!

Jun: SILENCE! There's something sinister about it.

It then sinks, and slowly rise as the Black Skeleton with those purple glowing eyes the dark genie once had.

Dark Black Shadow: (the Dark Skeleton, his ultimate form; death itself) Hmm, you refused to perform what I commanded. I refuse to be defied by anyone!

Eliza: (noticing a familiar figure by the voice) D-Darkness? (follows the voice and see him flesh and bone) MY BABY!

Dark Black Shadow: Interesting family. Real interesting!

Jin: Oh shit.

He remembers reading something about this skeletal being, now before him.

Jin: Ladies and gentlemen, we're so fucked.

Dark Black Shadow: That, you are.

Anonymous: There's still hope of the great demise to come! (laughs wild and ominously)

Jun: You know something about this Jin?

Jin: Yeah um, it's still that black dude with that colorful long cape. It's his death form. You can't touch him. Everything you do, is instant death. Even sniping his ass will be an epic fail.

Eliza: You pissed him off! You fools pissed him off!

Dark Black Shadow: (telepathically brings her to him) And YOU BEEN DRINKING!

Eliza: I thought you was dead!

Jin: He's your previous lover?!

Eliza: I tried to tell your dumbass. You're just slow to learn!

Kazuya: Your pussy is slow to notice there's a dick in it!

Dark Black Shadow: She's eternal for a reason. I granted her the ability to survive all! So when this world fall, she will still be by me side.

Eliza: See Goku.

Asuka: The name's Jin honey nuts!

Jin: You ol' big honey cluster box ass lookin' bitch!

Kazuya: Stank female Elora not Spyro's GF's lookin' ass with a sharp odor bitch!

Asuka: Hope on Rick James whore mother load of shit!

Dark Black Shadow: ENOUGH!

Eliza: You three are astoundingly annoying. The three monkeys looking for their bananas. Guess what, they in my belly!

Kazuya: Let's cut yo shit then!

Dark Black Shadow: You all had all the time to be fools. I personally think the Tekken universe saw enough light for it's lifetime. Time for me to claim it. Besides, I'll have all of Capcom since some eased their way here.

How life makes a day funny; there goes Ryu and Ken, all in nice casual attires, visiting Chun-li's grave, which is surprisingly here at Fallen Garden.

Ryu: Man that dark, dude. Right when we was getting to know each other.

Ken: Man my girl popped kids out and a month later, lord darkness came and swooped her and my children up!

Everybody was staring at them.

Jin: That's them right?

Kazuya: Yeah I remember them. Me and Nina showed them assholes who's the true beasts. Tekken runs the fightin' genre bitches!

Jin: Sho' do! Namco rules!

Ryu: (don't feel like looking back at them) Man fuck y'all.

Ken: Y'all was just lucky. (shoots the bird behind him) Dig up cheese with this bitches! Capcom got the good shit and y'all know it!

Asuka: You people are greedy! Yur greed, will be yo downfall!

Jin: Plus we ruled the classical ages. Almost every old school we got was badass!

Kazuya: Y'all had some but, y'all shit couldn't pass our knees!

Jin: Sit the fuck down and take a break!

The two Street Fighters still refuse to look at them.

Ken: We're not in the mood for criticism right now.

Ryu: You fucks need to change y'alls storyline. Almost every tournament you fucks hosted, was out of family turmoil! You people are just like Mario! It's the same shit!

Ken &amp; Ryu: "Peach gets kidnapped! Gotta save her."

Ken: And yall's shit is like "gotta host a tournament to take my Zaibatsu back!

Ryu &amp; Ken: "It's rightfully mine! It was bestowed upon me to con, TROL!"

Jin, Asuka &amp; Kazuya: And y'all talkin'?!

Asuka: Y'all storyline just, straight suck!

Jin: And almost every boss from y'all crap, is the same!

Kzuya: Bison and Akuma! Wow. Yawn folks, and they do the same shit!

Ryu: Y'all stale too!

Jin: Nah bra we be addin'-replacin' on our shit!

Kazuya: We be droppin' new moves bra!

Jun: _And I only been in one actual game._

Anonymous: Enjoy this last argument. Make it worthwhile. Extend it!

Jin: Plus we got the hot stages!

Kazuya: Real, def, graphics!

Asuka: You tell 'em boyz! We don't do that sketched crap! We go hard and beautiful!

Pissed off to no end, they turn to them ready to end these rather distasteful insults.

Ryu: We said we was NOT! In, the MOOD!

Ken: We went through something drastic and you people want to talk shit!

Dark Black Shadow: (warps in front of them) Let me, end your misery. Take your stress, and inject it in them.

Ryu: You.

Ken: You evil bastard.

Dark Black Shadow: Allow me to absorb your vibe, and usher you both to a better life after I clean this excuse of a trashcan.

Ken: Fuck you!

Ryu: What your evil ass did was uncalled for.

Dark Black Shadow: Why bite at me. It was that empty minded Shadaloo that summoned me to end your world. And only the strong survive, as you can see. Even Akuma was a disappointment. You two are the true warriors.

Ryu: Not after I kick your ass.

Ken: And revive what you took from us!

Dark Black Shadow: So be it. I'm giving you people an opportunity to walk away and live on, but that aberrant decision just cost you both, as I don't have time to spar with extra toys. (he softly lays his skeletal fingers on both of their foreheads, and just like that, death claims them and makes them fall like a sack of potatoes.)

Jin: See what I mean.

Asuka: Holy macaroni.

Jun: The better you are, the worst you face.

Kazuya: (gives his wife one last tap to the rear) No more ass. But the best of them all dies with me.

Jun: So you, but how sweet. (gives him a kiss in the cheek, then pinches it)

Eliza: Rivalry my ass. I'm the only one that can talk some sense into him. But to hell with that y'all need to go!

Anonymous: Thank you! Someone who understands how fucked up this world is!

Dark black Shadow: (warps between his woman and the new unknown, taking his original form in the process) How about one last brawl. (eyes glow red, gold, and blue) The Ultimate Armageddon! (his red and purple aura comes back and coats him up) Three on four!

Anonymous: (goes back in her rainbow aura as well) This, shall be fun. An ending with a bang.

Eliza: (puts her sharp fangs in her mouth) I could use a fine drink.

The kids are having a private conversation.

Asuka: Where's your new girl?

Jin: She died as well.

Asuka: I'm sorry. You just need to chill okay?

Jin: I'm done with them. I'm just gonna live by myself.

Asuka: Well you have me by your side. I'm goin' nowhere remember?

The adults engage in their private matters too.

Kazuya: Girl we need to do one last show before all of this armor gaggon, armor gadget, whatever shit goes down.

Jun: _Well my life's done for, let me at least play give this funky freak what he wants._ Well, You better have a condom. I don't want mo more kids! Gonna die anyway so why not.

Kazuya: This shit looks impossible.

Jun: This is the greatest threat that will forever stick. I'm so going to remember this like it's yesterday, everyday; that's if we shine through this.

Kazuya: Man Bruce Lee on steroids, times three. Bra we in deep.

Asuka gets emotional on Jin.

Jin: (cheering her up) We gonna show these fucks who we are. We the Kazamas bra! We run this!

Kazuya: Yes we do son! No gods! No eternal titty evolvin' whore! And no dark Jun that smell like fish, "biyyyyyach" that look like Joker's milfy mother! We, run, this! 'Cause we the best!

Jin: Let's beast on these bitches! Biyaaaah!

Jun: _Things guys do when they hangout. Well I can't talk. Us women, have our moments._

Asuka: I know how to beat them.

Jin: Real talk cuz?

Kazuya: My girl got brains TURN UP!

Jun: (rolls eyes) Like you don't know. Anyway, what's the plan sweetie?

Asuka: That dark shadow can't stand noise. Let's turn it all the way up.

Jin: Yea boy put that speaker on deck!

Kazuya: (high five his son) Dead ass son!

Jun: I'm not so sure about that.

Asuka: He can't concentrate with background crap. I don't know what went down earlier, but we heard it.

Jun: Oh, well, what about my demon?

Asuka: Let's get on that dude first.

Jin: I'm guessin' we jump the shit out of her.

Jun: Jin enough of that cussing now!

Kazuya: Lil' vampire ain't shit.

Asuka: Don't underestimate her dad. She can kick ass.

Kazuya: I can do what I please my sweet. I deal with vampires for a livin' and she too, can't stand outside parties.

Eliza: Y'all done praying?

Anonymous: Let's get this over and done with.

Dark Black Shadow: I'll give you all ten seconds before you forfeit the grand Armageddon, and betray your lovely world to me.

Jin: Man suck my dick.

Asuka: Lick these tits man!

Jun: What am I going to do with you all?

Jin: Mom you act a fool too.

Jun: Well, not around, um, yeah I guess.

Kazuya: That's my girl kids. (claps) BREAK! (taunts Eliza) C'mon baby c'mon darlin'.

Eliza: (looking up and down at him, disgusted) Eww. Anyway.

Jin joins his father's side composing classical music only they can hear.

Eliza: (even more disgusted) What is wrong with you males?!

Asuka: (ready to kick Dark Black Shadow's grand ass) Okay baby. Let's dance.

Jin's composing gets intense and wild. He gets all in it. His dad makes musical noises, chasing the vampire around the garden.

Eliza: (fleeing for her life) YOU MALES ARE MAD! GOOD GRAZE ALIVE!

Dark Black Shadow: End this crap.

Asuka: Mute them out.

Dark Black Shadow: You think you know how to defeat me eh? Heh, very amusing. (spits gray slimy acid at her)

Asuka: (barely dodges as it was unexpected) Should've said "heads up" or somethin'! What if that shit got in my hair?!

Dark Black Shadow: Witness minions that dwell in my realm. May you be entertained. (vanishes in black mist)

The bubbling slime splits in two and creates two gray beings: Seth and Carla Spore.

Asuka: _This is gonna take a damn while._

Jun: (saw what happened from the side of her eye) _I thought so. I knew that plan was going to make shit worst._

Anonymous: Oh ho ho! I like this! The spore from Resident Evil 6. My favorite enemy of all time. Then we have the all metal nude with a yin-yang rotating abdomen. Why not watch your children and man squirm hmm?

Jun: No! How about I kick your evil ass!

Anonymous: I'm just trying to cheer you up. I mean you wasted years raising brainless kids with a trigger happy man whose too, brainless. You're idiotic with the rest. Well check this out. How about we bring in the heat with (blasts a black fireball besides her) THIS!

The dark fire morphs into a red eyed shadow of Xiaoyu.

Jun: N-no way. You can bring back..

Anonymous: The dead? Why yes thank you. Give your special one a hell of a treat.

False Xiaoyu: As you wish. (zips away)

Jun: You're evil. (goes to aid her family but winds up imprisoned in an invisible cube) You can't be serious! BITCH REALLY?!

Anonymous: (laughs dark and hysterically, looking like a maniac in the process) Let, life, give them a little piece of intelligence. Since you, and your dick flinching man, can't do y'all's job properly.

Jun: Bitch let me show you my "true job."

Anonymous: Maybe after I see the outcome of this.

Kazuya catches the vampire and gives her ears musical hell.

Eliza: (can't do nothing but cry) OKAAAAAY! OKAYYYYY YOU WIN!

Kazuya: (releases her) I might be doin' somethin' girl!

Eliza: (curls up in a ball) Please free me of noise. Just shut up for a while.

Kazuya: See you on the wrong team girl.

Jin: (spots these two gray beings slowly going after Asuka) Here I come cuz!

Asuka: Ohhhh, shit! JIN!

False Xiaoyu: (tromps Jin's path) Hey honey.

Jin: (backs up) No. No. You're not real.

False Xiaoyu: Look at me baby. Nothing will never take me from you.

Jin: Bitch I know your game. Was all that shit true?

False Xiaoyu: All I want is a family.

Jin: Bitch you got some disease! I don't roll like that trick!

False Xiaoyu: But my death cleanse me of diseases. I'm clean now see?

Jin: No. You're just an evil shadow revived to do harm to me. Go back to your grave!

False Xiaoyu: (takes her original looks) I'm real Jin. I have immense, controlled, powers now. You're safe with me.

Jin: You're a golddigger!

False Xaioyu: Who told you that lie huh?! Was it your damn cousin?! (glares at Asuka, shot lasers from her eyes which nails her leg in)

Asuka: (splashes in the water screaming in agony) AHHH MY LEG I CAN KICK ASS WITH!

Jin: WHAT THE HELL MAN!

False Xiaoyu: I think it's time I extract revenge since I now, have the skills and such.

Jin: (nabs her tight) NOOOO! YOU'RE NOT HARMIN' MY CUZ YOU WILD TRICK!

False Xiaoyu: (makes an illusion of herself and escapes with ease) It'll be quick and painless. I promise baby.

Jin: Bitch get back here!

False Xiaoyu: SWITCH!

Her command, made Sath and Carla target Jin.

Asuka: You. You bitch. You came back from the dead to get some more?

False Xiaoyu: Shut up ass!

Anonymous: Wroo we this is better than television. Want some popcorn?

Jun: Shove it up your ass.

Anonymous: Watch your brat, gets what's coming to her. Xiaoyu and your son deserve each other.

Jun: No they don't. She's troubled.

Anonymous: Like you? Think about it.

Jun: My man have potential to be great!

Anonymous: (laughs her fabrication off) So you say. "Rare" potential. PAAAH HA HA! You're funny. Do a stand up bitch.

Jun: You know I can kick your dark, rainbow ass. That's why you have me TRAPPED!

Anonymous: YOU THINK?! Bitch swerve off with that lie. I have you imprisoned, because I don't want you interfering with this. Unlike them, you're unstoppable. You can slay these three in your sleep. And I don't know why he's focusing so much more on your annoying brat instead of you.

Jun: Because she's purity of the gene.

Anonymous: Oh, I see. She's the only one that don't have a physical copy of her darkside. And I'm the only one standing to represent all evil. My son got his ass kicked, and my man's too busy being yours.

Jun: He likes pussy. Typical.

Anonymous: And you're the fool!

Jun: YOU TOO BITCH! GET OFF MY ASS DAMN!

Anonymous: Every time I try to enlighten your dumbass!  
Jun: Always have to throw insults to injury with your blow face ass!

They set it off again; round 2 of a lengthy dissing argument.

Kazuya: (looking at them going at it) Man they always arguin' about somethin'.

Eliza: All that noise! STOOOOP!

Kazuya: Girl, did some one tell you you got daddy long legs? I mean I see nothin' but legs.

Eliza: SHUT UUUUUUUUUP!

False Xiaoyu: Awe you look hurt. (kneels towards her opponent) Need a (thrusts her sharp nails in Asuka's wounded leg) cure?  
Asuka: Get away from me. (sees her threatening hand) No plea-AHHHHHHHHHHH! FUCK! YOU'RE WRONG! YOU'RE WRONG!

False Xiaoyu: We're just getting started.

Asuka: Jin! Jin cuz HEEELP!

Jin: (hurts his fists greatly after bashing it across Seth's face) Ohhh shit. Man this dude's all metal. (moves out the acid's path that flies from the spore) Girl I'm comin'! It's gonna take a while!

Asuka: JIN PLEASE!

False Xiaoyu: (grabs a bone) You have no (cracks it) right to interfere my relations with my man.

Asuka cries in her great, great agony.

Asuka: OH GOD! HELP ME!

False Xiaoyu: Yes. Go on and cry! Endure the pain that you once gave me!

Jun: (feels her leg tingling from her daughter's great injury) A-Asuka. (eyes starts to get wet and depressed) You're enjoying this aren't you?

Anonymous: It's all play honey. It's all play. It looks like something you once upon a time, went through eh? (snacks on some popcorn)

Jun: What, are you, talking about?

Anonymous: Oh don't tell me you forgot.

Jun: Yes I remember getting a few bruises and scars here and there, but I don't remember getting that kind of treatment!

Anonymous: Bitch keep your panties and bra tightly wrapped! The last thing I want is to see you naked and upset.

Jun: LOOK AT THIS! This is fucking torture!

Anonymous: The brat saw this coming. You reap what you sow.

Jun: She's not that kind of girl!

Anonymous: I'm taking you wasn't there when she nearly killed the poor little shrimp.

Jun: You're lying! She fights to protect my son! Like I would do for them.

Anonymous: (yawns) Touching, really. She fucked her up out of spite.

Jun: I'm done with this. Just shut up.

Anonymous: *sighs* Shoot yourself.

Kazuya: (feels her leg in pain also) My lord. BABY! YUR OKAY?!

Eliza: My man is brutal if you piss him off. You all's death, will be long and painful mark my words.

He rings her ear to his mouth.

Eliza: (instantly begs) No please okay I'm sorry!

Kazuya: (changes his mind and drops her) Man you're not worth it.

Eliza: It's the truth! I know him like the back of my head! You all pissed him off! You don't stand a chance it's OVER!

Kazuya: LEGS! (rushes off to aid his daughter)

Eliza: (starts to seduce him) How about a good time? Want a good refresher so you can be good and ready?

Kazuya: (stops, turns, and gets excited) Ohhhh yeah.

Jun: HEY! I SEE YOU FUCK A LOT! Don't, do it! Is sex really that more important than your kids?!

Anonymous: Oh my lord! I should mute your ass too! (shoves a ring pop in her mouth and makes it stick permanently through her aura) Man it's probably too late.

Kazuya: (thinks about it) _Man this will be the last time I get some pussy. But then my kids can't fight those monsters. So if I fuck the shit out of this fine vampire, my kids will die. But if I help my kids out, I will probably never get pussy again, since my woman's so got-damn selfish. Man this som' hard shit right here._

Eliza: C'mon sugar cakes. You don't want a nice ride? I'll give you a great time in Heaven.

Anonymous: Come on come on. Get laid and die already.

Jun mumbles.

Anonymous: Bitch stop crying!

Kazuya: (reaches a conclusion) Girl I'm sorry. (leaves her to aid what's more important, his children)

Eliza &amp; Anonymous: WHAT?!

Anonymous: NOOOOOO!

Kazuya: Yur a vampire and you all got them fangs!

Eliza: (didn't hesitate to take them off) Please come back! You're a fool! What help can you be to them?!

Anonymous: (agrees) That's what I wanna know!

Kazuya: I'm their dad and they need my strength!

Eliza &amp; Anonymous: (rolls eyes) Anyway!

Anonymous: That's one hilarious joke. Do whatever you want. It will all be in (takes the ring pop back and decays it) vain.

Jun: THAT'S MY HONEY! POTENTIAL BITCH! Rare? Bitch your mother's tits!

Anonymous: (infuriated) SILENCE! (frees her) I think it's time you're family gets this emotion called the great depression. With your death, they will fall in profound sadness, grieving over your miserable death! No longer will they have the ability to fight because of your fail! FACE ME BITCH! (rainbow aura roars with her)

Jun: (ready for the last round) It's about time. I'll finish you for good.

And so the last, final round initiates like no other.

False Xiaoyu: (rises Asuka's arm) Look at this swanky crap.

Asuka: Please. You win. You can be with my cuz. Just stop this inhumane torture.

False Xiaoyu: Oh how sweet at a late time. He'll be with you soon. As soon as I'm (jams her elbow in, thus breaking her arm) SATISIFIED with my vengeance against you!  
Asuka: OKAAAAAY! OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! PLEAAAASE! PLEEASE STAAAAAAOP!

False Xiaoyu: SHUT UP! Endure it!

Asuka: You're so gonna burn for this.

False Xiaoyu: I already have. Now it's your turn.

Jin: Oh man. Asuka! I'm doin' my best okay?!

Asuka: Jin I'm dyin'! She's breakin' me piece by piece!

Jin: Girl I'm comin! (hurls the spore at Seth and makes a dash for it) Here I come girl!

They thwart him once again.

Jin: Man you fuckers are startin' to piss me off.

Jun: (slams Anonymous down by her head) I can't handle no more of this! Asuka sweetie, Momma's coming!

Asuka: (feels a bone moving out her leg) PLEAAAASAE! SOMEONE-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kazuya: Here I come Asuka! (Seth without a blink, gets in the way, thus, rams into him) Man get the fuck! (strikes the metal enemy's abdomen, but does no damage except to himself) FUCK! You're all metal huh?

Seth merely smirks and begins to choke the life out of him with one hand.

False Xiaoyu: (observes this cracked shin bone) Nice looking bone you have here. Sharp, and healthy.

Asuka: You have my sympathy for your afterlife. I feel sorry for you bitch. You're gonna face hell for all eternity.

The false being laughs hysterically.

False Xiaoyu: I can withstand all. Even a damn vampire sucking life away from me. I'll just come back with even more immense destruction! (pierces the sharp end of the bone into the knee cap of the other leg)

Asuka shoves her face in the water producing merciful bubbles.  
Jun: (running as fast as she can) ENOUGH!

False Xiaoyu: Oh no it's her. Mom, I'm just here to get what's mine.

Jun: You did enough to my daughter. It's time to return from whence you came you little succubus.

False Xiaoyu: Until I satisfied my vengeance, I'm not going back no time soon.

Dark Black Shadow: (in his death form) You're "not," interfering. Let it all play out without your concern Mrs. Kazama.

Jun: You need a nap. You look tired.

Dark Black Shadow: Your concern is a fabrication, But I'll note that. Yes I'm tired, tired of you mortals committing sins, and not getting what's coming to you. It takes forever for the tables to turn on you sinners. Hell some even lived their lives all the way without paying for jack! I'm here to make you all pay! (engulf itself in purple raging flames) Repent in my dark, flames!

Jun: Yes it takes a while, but those sinners are living in miserable guilt. They're paying for their sins everyday. Those that died, their life was short. Hell some commit suicide.

Dark Black Shadow: You would be a formidable foe, but you're infected with that gene. You not pure like your daughter. A pity. I seek out those that have potential of defeating me. But I don't have time for you. Just don't interfere.

Anonymous: (lights coming back on) Wow. Did I just black out?

Jun: Well Shadow, I just can't sit idly by, allowing this to go on. You're just have to take me. (goes on to her daughter's aid)

Dark Black Shadow: (takes his original form and gets in Jun's way again) Fine. Something a true being will say. People like you are rare and will die for anything that's presumed, important. I'll make your death be memorable.

Anonymous: (accosting Jun from behind) Just gonna up and leave?! Bitch I'm not done with you!

Jun: I been looking for a challenge myself. This shall be somewhat decent. Asuka sweetie don't worry I'm coming!

Dark Black Shadow: She'll watch you fall. You're requesting too much of a challenge. Two potent beings? And a god on top of that? You're a fool.  
Anonymous: Two gods okay?

Jun: A fool that will do what it takes to keep my family safe.

Jin: Mom! Please don't ma!

The spore slowly follows him.

Jin: C'mon beast! Keep on slouchin'!

Jun: Jin you're free at the moment. Please help your cousin okay?

Her grand awaited brawl lights the candles to initiate.

Jin: But what about you?!  
Jun: (defending herself from their invasion of offense) JUST DO IT! I'll be fine!

Jin: Damn man yur slow as hell! COME THE FUCK ON!

Carla Spore: _Come, here._ (trips on a little slippery pod) _Slippery piece of frogs!_

Jin: Man watcho step man!

Kazuya: (yelping for his life) HELP! HELP!

Jin: Oh man then my dad!? Too much responsibility.

Jun: You're becoming a man Jin. Now (counter attacks Anonymous scary claw with a jaw breaking knee) help them (hurls her off) out!

Jin: Maaaah. _Man I have to think of somethin.' (a plan comes up) Okay let's do this!_ (takes the spore's head off and throws it at Seth, which surprisingly frees his dad, due to an acid impact) HAAAH! YES BABY LET'S GO! "I'm the only one that get the job done."  
Jun: Jin stop crying okay?! You're my son, a Kazama! You can handle this! (goes on a wild rainbolic flight after be shot by tiny red fireball.)

Kazuya: "Job done."

Jin: "I don't know a, that can cover for me."

Kazuya: "Cover fo' me."  
Jin: "Yeah, got some game from my daaaze! And She might say she love, but she don't love me like she say she love me. Believe me. Believe me."  
Kazuya: Aye-turn up! Believe mae.

Cammy survived the tyrants wrath and makes an appearance.

Cammy: Man those out of shape fucks are so gonna pay. (sees their bodies) Oh, damn. I'm too late. (looks around her) I'm takin' Jin's (sees him dancing and rapping) My baby survived!

Jin: "I'm not tryna find nobody else to beat."

Kazuya: Elsa beat!

Jin: "I'm the one they come to see, because they all. Believe me."

Cammy: Hey sexy! (runs for him)

Jin: Oh shit. Dad! (flees off with another head of the spore) Getcho girl now!

Kazuya: Son this dude's not done with me yet. Plus that's yo chick. She cry for you everyday. She's a good girl bra talk to her.

Cammy: Jin please give me a try!

Jin: NO! (throws the head at the evil revival of Xiaoyu)

False Xiaoyu: (frantically shakes and acts crazy from all this vicious acid eating her dark flesh) GET OFF! GET OFF! AHH JIN WHY?! I'm doing this for you, for us!

Cammy finishes the job by killing her with her fatal spin drive smasher.

Asuka: (watching her melt back to whence she came) Enjoy yo afterlife bitch. Jin I'm hurt.

Jin: (starts to nurture his mortally wounded cousin) Woman can you please give the hell up and do another dude?

Cammy: (feels terrible for Asuka) I'm sorry Jin's relative.

Asuka: Who are you? Wear some decent clothes.

Cammy: I'm Cammy.

Jin: GO AWAY!

Cammy: JIN PLEASE!

Asuka: Y-you know her?

Jin: Please don't talk cuz. (removes the exposed bone from her leg and quickly wraps it up)

Asuka: JIN! GOT, DAMN MAN!

Jin: You need that emergency help.

Cammy: Let me help.

Jin: TRAMP!

Cammy: Why are you judgin' me from my attire huh?!

Jin: Looks are real.

Cammy: Well I'm very undeceivin'.

Jin: Deceive these nuts.

Asuka: Please people. I'm not in good condition to hear all of this. She looks decent Jin. I won't hurt her promise.

Jin: You can't be serious. (put her cracked bone back in place)

Asuka: Jin it hurts!

Cammy: She will bleed to death! I got a car and everythang! Let me help!

Jin: (don't want help but don't have a choice) Fine. Fine! Do whatchu gotta do bra.

Cammy: I'm not what you think. Believe me. (leaves to get her ride)

Jin: Man we can talk and all that after you help my cuz out.

Asuka: I'm a damn vegetable. She broke all of me.

Jin: She's dead now. Done for completely okay cuz?

Asuka: Can I hear yo heart beat?

Jin: Yeah why not. (brings her head to his heart)

Oh great, here comes the Oak Gang. They all have a case loaded with money.

Mokujin: Finally yo!

Tetsujin: We finally got dat monay!

Kinjin: We're rich at last boys! Now we can tell our gals we got what it takes to survive and maintain!

Tetsujin: Yep. Pay the bills and buy food.

Mokujin: Then we can buy junk like a new limousine bra!

Tetsujin: Or a got-damn PlayStation four!

Mokujin: With the Vita!

Kinjin: Let's focus on getting home first alright?

Dark Black Shadow covers his opponent up in rainbow flames and hurls her off like a rocket prepped for devastation.

Tetsujin: Get som' gangsta music and murk dat shit up to the max!

Mokujin: (feeling something heading right for them) Guys you feel that? (looks and sees a white light sprouting out various colors speeding right at them) OH NO! The lord of all lords are after us now!

Kinjin: RUN BOYZ! WE'RE REAL CLOSE TO WINNING! JUST MOVE OUT THE WAY!  
Tetsujin: USE THOSE LEGS!

They tried to evade it, but end up following it's trajectory and boom! They lost their money and became separate.

Tetsujin: LORD HAVE MERCCCCCCCCY!

Kazuya: (keeping his distance from this metal threat) What up turtle. Get some speed. Work those triceps man!

Seth beckons him.

Kazuya: (beckons back) Keep on bra keep on.

Seth: (beckons back) _Punk mortal._

Kazuya: Bra c'mon turtle! HEY LOVE IS!

Dark Black Shadow: SILENCE!

Jun: (shakes the pain off her head) _Ow. Wow, Damn My brain broke to fractures. (her headband breaks off)And my headband. How wonderful._

Kazuya: Hey babe. You know how to rock metal?

Jun: Just mess his abdomen up.

Kazuya: I tried that. That shit is all metal too.

Jun: Well, just keep your distance.

Anonymous: (already within) You're mine bitch!

Jun: Damn you're fast are you?

Kazuya: How about if we get into yo battle, he'll be done for. Sound good girl?

Jun: I got this Kazuya! Stay out of this!

Carla Spore: (after thirty minutes of slopping, she finally reaches Jin and Asuka) _You're, mine children._

Jin: I'll be back okay?

Asuka: Tear her ass open cuz.

Jin rips her head off for the third time.

Asuka: D-damn Jin. Got that Mortal Kombat blood in ya.

Jin: Ya know? Dad. (nods his head grinning) Lego time.

Kazuya: (knowing that thing they always do) Yea boy that logo-lego-loco shit. AIN'T, GOT, TRAAAAAAAAASH!  
Jin: TAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Dark Black Shadow: (yells so forcefully, he was blasting a gush of wind at them) SHUT UUUUUUUP!

Kazuya: (instantly clings on to Seth, who throws him off for a flight) OHHHH SHIIIIIIIT! (mimics Goofy's holler)

Jin: (trying to throw her head at him, plus trying to keep Asuka from flying off) Fu, fu, fuck this is harder than it looks.

Asuka: Jiiiin! What kind of action is this?!

Jin: Here, goes. (throws it off) NOTHIN'!

All it did was launch back and reattach itself to the owner.

Dark Black Shadow: (Ends his savaging storm) Futile.

Asuka: What was that about?

Jin: I thought the wind was gonna take it to him.

Asuka: What kind of shit? Yo, he was blowin' at us. Not at him!

Jin: I got another one.

Asuka: Another what?

Jin: "AAAAAAAAAAAH, HOO, HOO, HOOOEEEEEEEYYY! YEAAAAH-HOEEEEYYY!"

Dark Black Shadow: (entire body turns flaming red) You, worthless child. (charges at him, fist out like a bullet) DIE!

Jin: (cracks his back by flexing) Oh that feel good.

Kazuya screams like Goofy once more.

Kazuya: (stuck in a leafless tree)You don't know that goofy bra. Best cartoon character of all time! "YAAAAAH HOOOO HOOOO HOOO HOOOOOEEEEYYYY!"

Dark Black Shadow: You mortals are "ANNOYING!"

Jin: This is for my cuz bra! (throws Carla at him, in which the enemy absorbs her)

Dark Black Shadow: She was of no use anyhow. (gets a nut-check) And that's suppose to be effective?

Jin: Damn man. Yo balls on steroids man. (goes on a rotating flight after taking a swift elbow to the chin)

Asuka: Stay away from him he's dangerous!

Kazuya: "YEAAAAH HOOOO HOOOOO HOO HOOEEEEYYYY!"

And that's how they finally best the dark god. Kazuya screams like Goofy and Jin strikes. It took some serious time and effort as both parties was taking major damage. The great fight was even more lenghty when musical notes flies out and enters in ears; they be having singing and or dance off moments, even evil was all about it. Nevertheless, they finally defeat him. Surprisingly, Anonymous shares the same fate, well as if she wasn't getting handled from the start; it merely made her defeat faster.

Unknown: (her true form was beaten out of her) Y-y'all cheated. Y-you used those ratchets bastards at your advantage.

Seth: (gives up for traveling too slow) _Damn. Oh well. My slow ass need to lose some of this metal._

Jun: That comes to show everyone's beatable. All of that power, was useless.

Unknown: Should've wore some ear buds to reduce that shit.

Jun: Like that would help.

Unknown: Bitch it would!

Dark Black Shadow: (adsorbing his summoner's colorful power) No. No. She can't, be.

Jun: She lost, just like you.

Dark Black Shadow: I never thought in a million years I would lose to puny mortals, especially with such wild ridiculous personalities.

Jin: And my cuz figured yo ass out!

Kazuya: Turn up! I need help! I'm stuck in this tree!

Jun: You need some time up there honey! You need a break from whoring around.

Kazuya: Girl man you can't be serious now!

Asuka: (on the verge of bleeding to death) J-Jin.

Jin: OH SHIT SHE'S ABOUT TO DIE!

Dark Black Shadow: (slowly getting on his feet whilst forming into death) Then the game's not over. With her death near, the world will still crumble! (slowly approaching her) Come to me. Let me rush your demise.

Jin: (refuse to leave her) Oh "fuck" no!

Asuka: We almost had him cuz.

Jin: Don't say that we GOT HIM! He's just goin' gay like a damn hacker! He hates losing. So hack the shit to win huh? CHEAT!

Kazuya's Goofy yells were no longer his weakness.

Kazuya: Yeah we're fucked.

Jun: (pondering) _This god is typical. He can't accept a lost. Maybe he needs our gene. So, Here you go bastard. _(she walks up to him and softly touch his highly exposed gold, red, and blue heart)

Jin: MOM! (runs to her) NO!

Jun: (rolls her eyes back) STAY BACK! (injects her gene in his heart, and everyone else follows, starting Jin)

Jin: (seeing the tattoo forming into a black mist heading for home) Ma-ma-ma-ma! No! NOO PLEASE!

Jun: It's okay sweetie. I'm fine. Stay by her side.

Jin: (stutters and rocks back and forth) Yeah-yeah I got her. B-b-b-but you man. You d-doin' this suicide note.

Kazuya: (his red eye no longer exists) NOOOO! JUN! BABY! GET ME OUT THIS TREE! I'M NOT READY FOT THIS! YA NOT LEAVIN' UNTIL I TELL YOU! GET ME UP OUT TREE WOMAN!

Dark Black Shadow: (not believing she's still standing) What are you, doing? I, am, death! All that touch me, dies!

Jun: I'm just giving you what you want. Our world. Our darkside.

Asuka: Mom.

Jin: T-t-t-this ain't right bra. That m-my mom cuz.

Jun: You're not taking my family away. You will take (stabs his heart) me INSTEAD!

Through his dying scream, he adsorbs Jinpachi entirely.

Unknown: (her slime leaves her) Impossible! No I'm not! (her flesh follows) NOOOOOOOOOOOO! JUNNNN YOU BIIIIIITCH!

Seth: (forms into liquid and joins the evil aura) _Oh well. Like I can live life walking at this pace. Them slugs will laugh at me. About time he get his too. Thank you albino woman!_

Eliza: (hopelessly watching) _My baby. My baby's done. You can't go easy on no one these days. We had these fuckers, but you took them too lightly. Underestimated human limits can be quite punishing._

_Then the Devil manifestation of Jin and Kazuya returns home. And lastly, the whole dark garden goes in and frees it's Heavenly nature._

Jun: (spiritually drained) Now go home.

Dark Black Shadow: (permanently defeated)Y-you. You, you're the one I seek. You officially defeated me at, last. Too bad, you won't live to tell. You finally taught me the art of accepting defeat. A woman on top of that; an emotional, creature of all, things. You, you, freed me, and yourself. I'm free from being this dark genie. May we now rest in peace, without tossing and, turning. (decays to dust)

Jin: (instantly grabs his fallen mother) No. Na, na, NOOOOOOOOOOWRRRAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kazuya: GET ME OUT THIS TREE! GET ME OUUUUUUUUT!

The oak folks was somewhere hidden and saw all of the events.

Kinjin: Man let's bring him down.

Mokujin: Man dis som' sad shit yo.

Tetsujin: I'm gonna miss her.

Kinjin: Well boyz, we're fucked. All that hardcore search, blown the fuck up just to see this.

Asuka: J, Jin. (falls asleep)

Jun: Take care of your cousin, and your daddy. (sees him whining like a baby) I can see he's going to commit suicide. Don't let him. (feels an awful vibe from Asuka) My, dear, Asuka.

Jin: W-what mom?

Jun: She's, gone.

Jin: What?! (checks her pulse to see if she's still alive, feels cold) NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! NOOOOOOOOOO! SHE DIDN'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH MAN!  
Kazuya: AND I LOST MY DAUGHTER ON TOP OF THAT! NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! LORD PLEEEEEEAAAAAAASE! LORD PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASE HAVE MERCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCY!

Jun: (feels Cammy's deathly aura) She died too, in a horrible car accident trying to rush her way here. It was all his doing. He really don't allow those that's an inconvenience.

Jin: SHE WASN'T A INCOVENIENCE! SHE COULD'VE SAVED MY CUZ MAN! WHAT THE FUCK! FUUUUUUUCK! ALL THESE PEOPLE DYIN' MAN WHAT THE "FUUUUUCK!"

Jun: Don't cuss now. I'm still here. Please live on y'all lives. Yes grieve a little, but don't kill yourself. (softly wipes his tears away) We all will unite soon. We're both be above watching you all. (spirit slowly leaving her)

Jin: No please. Please don't go!

Jun: I have to sweetie. I have to, we will watch you both, and...stop all that...cussing. (close her eyes, and joins her daughter)

Jin: (falls to the great depression on both of their heads) NOOOOOOOO! WHYYYYYYYY! WHYYYYYYYYY! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kazuya: (falls free in the gang's arms) ALL THE LADIES LEAVIN'! NO MORE PUSSY! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE! I DON'T BELONG HERE NO MO'! PUSSY DYIN' OFF LIKE FIRECRACKERS!

Kinjin: Man only two left.

Mokujin: There's still a lot women livin' yo.

Tetsujin: Yea boy we know some.

Kazuya: There'll be no pussy like my wife's man.

Mokujin: Man I feel yo pain. My girl died last year and there's no one like her.

Tetsujin: And that's som' hard times bra.

Kinjin: Y'all get his son and let's go.

Eliza: (watching them struggling to get him) _Sucks to be eternal. I'll rather die than to endure this devastating event for all time. Well, back to a long time sleep for me. (goes to sleep and plans to never wake up) My life's no longer precious. Evil from this universe is cleansed. My service here is done, for this and all the universes. My man no longer, existing; no longer a threat, to all the worlds._

They had a fine remarkable funeral. No one committed suicide as time goes by since that horrendous incident. It took them years to live pass it, but they somehow did and now, they're both a part of the troublesome gang with a new title, "Turnt Up Kazajin Oakz." The world's most wanted and prosperous gang of all time; despite having Kinjin to give his position up to Kazuya, the new mastermind.


End file.
